Charlotte's Web 1973 quotes

Mr. Homer Zuckerman?

That's me.

We've come to escort you and your Famous Pig to the grandstand.

What for?

I don' know, but we'd better get going.

Edith Zuckerman

Oh my goodness! Go up in front of all those people? Does my hair look all right, Homer?

It looks fine.

Edith Zuckerman

He didn't even look at my hair!

It's all right, Edith, now just keep calm.

Edith Zuckerman

Aren't you gonna crate the pig, Homer?

No. Let 'im walk! So everybody can see!

Edith Zuckerman

Homer, I'm gonna give that pig a buttermilk bath.

A what?

Edith Zuckerman

Well, my gran'mother always used to bathe her pig with buttermilk when it got dirty.

Wilbur's not dirty.

Edith Zuckerman

Oh, he's filthy! An' I'm gonna clean him with buttermilk!

Edith, you're crazy.

Edith, I've got to hand it to you; that pig looks a hundred percent better.

Edith Zuckerman

You just wait 'til he's dry.

Getting to be famous didn't change Wilbur one bit. Through all the crowds and publicity and glamour, he stayed the same old Wilbur. He was glad when the crowds stopped coming and he could be with his real friends again. Even Mrs. Fussy fell for the message in the web, and let Henry come over to see the famous pig.

A hornet! Duck!

Wilbur

Ohh...

It's all right, Wilbur. Everybody knows you're some pig.

Can I have a pig too, Pop?

I only distribute pigs to early risers. Fern was up at daylight, trying to rid the world of injustice. [Avery's frog escapes his jacket and jumps all over the breakfast table] Seems to me you've already got more wildlife than you can take care of, Avery.

Why isn't that gosling with his mother?

Because he likes Wilbur.

Shrimpy little thing. [Jeffrey oinks at Avery] Sounds more like a pig than a gosling.

Wow! Look at that big spider! I'm gonna catch it for my collection!

Avery, you leave that spider alone!

That's a fine spider and I'm catching it! What's the matter with you, Wilbur?

He doesn't like you in there. Now Get out.

Charlotte

Salutations.

Wilbur

What?

Charlotte

Salutations.

Wilbur

What are they? And where are you?

Charlotte

Salutations are greetings. It's my fancy way of saying hello.

Mrs. Fussy

Henry Fussy! You put that thing down! [Henry puts Wilbur down and the pig crashes into something and Mrs. Fussy tries to chase him out of the house with a broom from the hall closet] Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Shoo! Shoo! [tries to chase Wilbur out of the house with her broom. Wilbur jumps out of the window, Fern catches him, and Mrs. Fussy slams the window doors shut]

Wilbur

Isn't it great that I articulate?/Isn't it grand that you can understand?/I don't grunt/I don't oink/I don't even squeak or squawk/When I wanna say a-somethin', I open up and talk! I can talk! I can talk, talk, talk, I can...

Why don't you keep it down?

Wilbur

I can talk!

Wilbur

Is it true what the old sheep says? Is that awful thing true?!

Goose

It's a dirty-irty trick, but it's true.

Wilbur

I don't want to die! I want to stay here in my warm manure pile! I want to breathe the beautiful air, and lie in the beautiful sun!

You're certainly making a beautiful noise.

Wilbur

I don't want to die! I don't want to die!

Charlotte

Quiet, Wilbur! Now chin up!

Wilbur

Who said that?

Charlotte

Do you want a friend?

Wilbur

Yes, I want a friend. But I want to live, too!

Charlotte

Well, chin up. I'll be your friend and I'll try to save your life. I've been watching you, and I like you.

Wilbur

I can't see you. What do you mean "chin up"?

Charlotte

Now go to sleep. You'll see me in the morning, and I'll explain everything then.

Wilbur's stomach was empty, and his mind was full. And when your stomach is empty and your mind is full, it's always hard to sleep. But sleep and Wilbur finally found each other.

Wilbur

Wanna play?

May I, Papa?

Certainly not. In the first place, you can't get out of your pen. In the second place, sheep do not play with pigs.

Wilbur

Why not?

Oh, it's a matter of status. Sheep, for instance, are highly regarded by Zuckerman, because we furnish him with good quality wool. With pigs, on the other hand, it's just a matter of time.

Wilbur

Time before what?

Before they're fat enough to kill.

Wilbur

What did you say?!

Oh, everybody knows that. In the fall, you'll be turned into smoked bacon and ham. And then, just as soon as the cold weather sets in, they'll kill you.

Wilbur

Ohh! (faints)

Goose

Templeton.

Hmm.

Goose

I'm no flibberty-ibberty-gibbit! I'm staying here and hatching my goslings!

Wilbur

Congratulations! How many are there?

Goose

There are seven.

Charlotte

Seven is a lucky number.

Goose

Luck had absolutely nothing to do with it! It was really good management and hard work.

Why didn't, uh, this one hatch?

The Goose

It's a dud, I guess.

What are you going to do with it?

The Goose

You can have it! Roll it away and add it to that nasty collection of yours! Be careful! A rotten egg can be a regular stink bomb!

I know what I'm doing. I handle stuff like this all the time. [And with that, Templeton rolls the egg away.]

How about "Pig Supreme"?

Charlotte

No good. It sounds like a rich dessert.

Goose

How about terrific, terrific, terrific?

Charlotte

Cut that down to one terrific and it will do nicely. I think terrific might impress Zuckerman.

Wilbur

But Charlotte, I'm not terrific.

Charlotte

You're terrific as far as I am concerned. (Templeton hits Wilbur in the face with his tail as he walks by; Charlotte glares at him) Does anybody know how to spell it?

Goose

I think it's T, double-E double-R, double-R, double-I, double-F, double-I, double-C-C-C.

Charlotte

What kind of an acrobat do you think I am? It would take me all night to write that.

I would advise you not to consult geese in matters of spelling. The word is spelled T-E-R-R-I-F-I-C.

The Goose

I still think it's prettier spelled: T, double-E, double-R, double-R, double-I--

Charlotte

Please! Let me spell it my way.

The Goose

You'll worry alright when winter comes! If Wilbur is killed, and his trough stands empty, then you'll grow so thin we can look right through your stomach and see objects on the other side!

Wilbur

Charlotte? Charlotte?! CHARLOTTE!!