Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitus of the nuts? It's pretty tasty.
No thank you.
How do you think he rides a bike? Oh, and Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy like this?
Can't you just leave me alone?
I mean if he had a great personality and was a good dancer and had a cool car. Although you'd probably have to ride in the back seat 'cause his nuts would ride shotgun.
You know what I wish I was doing right now...?
Uh-uh, watch what you say; Brian here's a cherry.
A cherry?
I wish I was on a plane...to France...
When have you ever gotten laid?
I've laid lots of times.
Name-one.
She lives in Canada. I met her at Niagra Falls; you wouldn't know her.
You ever laid anyone around here? [Brian, nervous that Claire might hear, motions for John to quiet down.] Oh...you and Claire did it...
What are you talking about?
Nothing, nothing. [to John] Let's just talk about it later, just drop it--
--No, drop what? What are you talking about?
Well, in addition the number of girls in the Niagra Falls area, that currently you and he are riding the hobby horse.
Little pig!
No, I'm not, I'm--John said I was I cherry, I said I wasn't! That's it! That's all that was said!
Well, then what were you motioning to Claire for?
You know, I don't appreciate this, Brian.
He is lying!
Oh, you weren't motioning to Claire?
Were you, or were you not, motioning to Claire?
Yeah, but it's...it's because I didn't want her to know I was a virgin. [John and Claire stare at him for a moment.] Excuse me for being a virgin, I'm sorry!
Why didn't you to want me to know you were a virgin?
'Cause it's personal business! It's my personal, private business!
Well, Brian, it doesn't look like you have any business.
I think it's OK for a guy to be a virgin.
