Well, well. Here we are. I want to congratulate you for being on time.

Excuse me, sir? I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here.

It is now seven-oh-six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways. [John spits a loogie in the air and apparently catches it in his mouth.] You may not talk. [Brian starts to move to a different seat.] You will not move from these seats. [And he sits back down.] And you... [pulls the chair out from under John's feet] ...will not sleep. All right people, we're gonna try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay...of no less than a thousand words describing to me who you think you are.

Is this a test?

And when I say essay...I mean essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear Mr. Bender?

Crystal.

Good. Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself. Maybe you'll even decide whether or not you care to return.

You know, I can answer that right now sir. That'd be "No", no for me. 'Cause--

Sit down, Johnson.

Thank you, sir.

My office is right across that hall. Any monkey business is ill-advised. Any questions?

Yeah. I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?

I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns.