The only reason I get up in the morning is to see if my luck's changed. And it never bloody has.
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Phil So God was creating man. And his little assistant came up to him and he said: "Hey, we've got all these bodies left, but we're right out of brains, we're right out of hearts and we're right out of vocal chords." And God said: "**** it! Sew 'em up anyway. Smack smiles on the faces and make them talk out of their arses." And lo, God created the Tory Party.
Phil What's He doing? He can take John Lennon. He can take those three young lads down at Ainsley Pit. He's even thinking of taking my old man. And Margaret bloody Thatcher lives! What's He sodding playing at, eh?
Gloria Do you want to come up for a coffee?
Andy I don't drink coffee.
Gloria I haven't got any.
Brassed Off
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