View Quote
Ted: Your stepmom's cute.
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
Bill: Shut up, Ted.
Ted: Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen?
Bill: Shut up, Ted!
View Quote
Outside the Circle K
Ted: OK, the lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275.
Bill: It's not just a water sport, I knew it.
A woman enters convenience store
Ted: Excuse me? When did the Mongols rule China?
Woman: I don't know, I just work here.
Ted: OK, the lady in that car over there said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275.
Bill: It's not just a water sport, I knew it.
A woman enters convenience store
Ted: Excuse me? When did the Mongols rule China?
Woman: I don't know, I just work here.
View Quote
Be excellent to each other.
View Quote
Hi. Welcome to the future: San Dimas, California — 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean. The water is clean. Even the dirt is clean! Bowling averages are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down, and we have more excellent water slides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great, but it almost wasn't. You see, seven hundred years ago, the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two along the correct path, the basis of our society will be endangered. Ah, but don't worry: it'll all make sense. I'm a professional.
View Quote
Party on dudes!
View Quote
Shut up Ted.