Meg They're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they've just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. They're in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they're tired of space, but they just can't commit. Or they want to commit, but they're afraid to get close. They want to get close, and you don't want to get near them.
Sarah It can't be that bad.
Meg I don't know. I'm goin' easy. I've been out there dating for twenty years. I've gotten where I can tell in the first fifteen seconds if there's a chance in the world.
Sarah Well, at least you're giving them a fair shot.
Meg Yeah, that's easy for you to say. Married to Harold, the perfect man. I don't know. Sometimes, I think I don't even want a man anymore. So here I sit on my ticking biological clock, and the only thing I've known in my entire life is that I want to have a child. Don't remind me. This probably was the right thing to do at the time.
Sarah So, what do ya do?
Meg I'm gonna have a baby.
Sarah What?
Meg Now, I've been taking my temperature and I know I'm ovulating right now. The ground is ready. I just need someone to plant the seed.
Sarah Yeah, but who's gonna be the lucky farmer?
Meg These are the best guys I know. My favorite men in the world. Unfortunately, Nick, as I discover I'm the last to know, is no longer a candidate. Michael's a possibility, but considering everything, I think a fall-back position...So that leaves Sam...
Sarah Harold's not good enough for you?
Meg Are you kidding? I'd love it. But I couldn't ask that of you.
Sarah Have you discussed this with Sam, or are you just gonna plan a surprise attack?
Meg Why should he have a problem with it? I mean there won't be any obligations. I love him as a friend. I assume he loves me. He'd do anything for me.
Sarah You know, somehow, I feel it isn't quite this simple. You know, for one thing, it doesn't always happen the first time.
Meg That's not what they told us in high school.
