Better Than Chocolate quotes

View Quote Carla: Boys like toys too, you know.
Paul: This is for boys?
Carla: Um-hmmmmmm.
Paul: What is it?
Carla: A butt plug.
[Paul abruptly drops it]
Carla: It's okay honey, I bleach it.

View Quote Frances: Seriously, Mr. Marcus, the Supreme Court has declared that anal sex is to gay male sex what Mozart is to classical music.
Mr. Marcus: Miss Turner, we are not here to discuss classical music. I myself am a huge Mozart fan, but…
Frances: Look, the ****ing Supreme Court has declared this natural. It is not obscene.
Mr. Marcus: In case you haven't noticed this is not the Supreme Court. We're here in Customs and I have a job to do.
Frances: We're just following orders, are we? Asshole.
Mr. Marcus: From your perspective, that must be a compliment of Mozartian proportions.

View Quote Judy: I'm Jeremy.
Lila: You're a man?
Judy: No, no, no, no, no, not really. Not ever. I was born into a man's body but I've always been a woman and well, after the final surgery...
Lila: I think I need a little drink.

View Quote Lila: [asking about Maggie] What is going on with her these days?
Judy: You'd have to ask her that, Lila.
Lila: So, there is something going on?
Judy: Oh, well, she's nineteen. There's always something going on when you're nineteen.

View Quote Maggie: What are you doing?
Kim: Better homes and dildos!

View Quote Mr. Marcus: The books have been classified as obscene and will not be allowed through the border. Now, if I can just get you to sign here.
Frances: Little Red Riding Hood is obscene?
Mr. Marcus: Well, we, we thought it was something else.

View Quote Paul: Are you sure you like boys?
Carla: Soft centers, hard centers. I like all the chocolates in the box.

View Quote Tony: [to Maggie] Can you believe she's never been in my coffee shop? Tell her how great it is.
Kim: Come on, I just got here. I haven't been anywhere.
Tony: Come on! Tell her how great it is, ****!
Maggie: It's great. ****.

View Quote Tony: That's funny… Get out!
Kim: I am out.

View Quote [Frances is about to attack the homophobic customs official. Security guard Bernice steps in.]
Bernice: Do we have a problem in here?
Frances: Bernice? Oh my god, I haven't seen you since the Women's Music Festival!
[Bernice hustles Frances and Maggie out the door.]

View Quote [Maggie and Tony are washing the sidewalk in front of 10% Books.]
Religious Zealot: Jesus loves you!
Maggie: Thank you! Can you still read "Die, ****, die!" or do you think I've finally gotten it all off?
[Religious Zealot rushes off.]

View Quote Customs held up another order of books at the border. They're claiming the books are pornographic… hello? Which they aren't. Well, maybe Butches in Chains is, but so what?

View Quote I read a study and after the age of forty a woman's chances of having sex are diminished by eighty percent. So, after fifty, God help you. And since I probably won't be having sex again, chocolate is the only pleasure left for me.

View Quote Of course it's obscene! That's the point!

View Quote Ouch, it's the plight of the bisexual. Gay girls won't play with you.