Beavis and Butthead Do America quotes

View Quote Tom Anderson: Boy, what I wouldn't give for 5 minutes alone with them 2 little bas****?

View Quote Lady in News: Well, Bob, the news out here is not good. Authorities are calling this the worst highway disaster in the Nation's history. Behind me, over 400 vehicles lay wrecked or stuck.
Agent Bork: Chief, look!
Lady in News: No one knows what caused it, but police have not ruled out...
Agent Flemming: Well, I'll be a blue-nosed gopher.
Agent Bork: Where did these guys come from?
Agent Flemming: The question is, where are they going?
Man in News: In other news, G-Pac is set to begin at 2 P.M. tomorrow when representatives from around the world...
Agent Flemming: What the hell? Bork! That bus we picked up, where was it hiding?
Agent Bork: Uh, D.C., Chief.
Agent Flemming: Jesus Jumped-up-- Bork, can you imagine what would happen if they set that thing off in our Nation's capitol? Or even worse! If they sold it to some damn foreigner at that conference? Well, it's not going to happen!

View Quote [after apprehending Butt-head]
Agent Fleming: Agent Hurly, I want you to give this s****bag a cavity search. I'm talking Roto-Rooter. Don't stop until you reach the back of his teeth.

View Quote Butt-head: [over loudspeaker] Uh, attention. Attention. We're looking for the chick with big boobs.
Beavis: [over loudspeaker] Yeah. We are ready to do you now.
Butt-head, Beavis: Uh-huh-huh-huh.
Senators: Uh-huh-huh-huh. Uh-huh-huh-huh.

View Quote Agent Flemming: Well, look what we have here. You two make me sick. Book 'em, Bork.
Dallas Grimmes: You don't have anything on us, and you know it.
Agent Flemming: Oh, I don't, huh? How about lewd conduct? Maybe indecent exposure. Here's what's gonna happen. One of you is going to make a deal and get me the unit. The other can spend the next 60 years in jail.
Muddy Grimmes: That's where you're wrong, boy. Me and my wife are back together, and you will never...
Dallas Grimmes: He stole the unit! Said he put it in some kid's pants.
Muddy Grimmes: Why you damn LITTLE FOUR-LEGGED-- HEY! TAKE IT EASY! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR...

View Quote Tom Anderson: What in the hell is that damn noise? [goes inside his camper and sees Beavis] What?
Beavis: Hey, how's it going?
Tom Anderson: Pull your damn pants up, boy! I don't want to see that. Damn it, get out of here!
Tom Anderson: [throws Beavis out of camper] And if I ever catch you whacking in here again, I'm gonna hogtie you.

View Quote Tom Anderson: Take your damn pants with you!
Agent Flemming: Hold your fire.
Tom Anderson: What the hell!
Agent Bork: The pants! He's got the unit!
Agent Flemming: Drop the pants, now!
Tom Anderson: Now wait a minute. I ain't the one...
Butt-Head: Here you go.
Tom Anderson: Now wait just a minute, mister!
ATF Agent: Sir take a look at this.
Agent Bork: How do you explain this?
Tom Anderson: What the hell are you talking about?
Agent Flemming: So, using two innocent teenagers as pawns in your sick game, huh?
Tom Anderson: Look, I already told you I don't know what the hell this is about.
Agent Flemming: Take him away.
Tom Anderson: Hey! Get your damn hands off me! Goddamnit hey damn it You don't know who you're dealing I'm a veteran of two foreign wars! I ain't the one been...
Beavis: I always thought there was something wrong with him.
Butt-Head: Yeah he had a lot of problems.
Beavis: He used to hit me, too.
Butt-Head: Hey, does anyone want to see my unit?

View Quote President Clinton: Beavis and Butt-head, on behalf of your fellow Americans I extend my deepest thanks. You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans who will grow into the leaders of this great country.
Butt-head: Huh huh huh huh. He said, "extend."
Beavis: Oh, yeah.