Ted Boynton Positive thinking is fine in theory. But whenever I try it on a systematic basis... I end up really depressed.
Played by Taylor Nichols 
Barcelona (1994) · 24 quotes
Barcelona (1994) · 24 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Barcelona (1994): in 11 of its 24 quotes
Most scenes with: Marta Ferrer (8), Fred Boynton (7)
You see, that's one of the great things about getting involved with someone from another country. You can't take it personally. What's really terrific is that when we act in ways which might objectively seem asshole-ish or, or, incredibly annoying, they don't get upset at all. They don't take it personally. They just assume it's some national characteristic.
More lines from Ted Boynton
2 quotes Ted Boynton Ted Boynton Have you ever heard of Maneuver X? When you get deeply into sales, you realize that every major transaction involves a mini identity crisis for the buyer. You think, "Green carpet. Am I really a green carpet person?" In romance, the same thing applies but on a humongous scale. But what is Maneuver X? It's removing all pressure, creating a space that the customer has to affirmatively cross. Only by disappearing more thoroughly and inexplicably than Montserrat can I change the current dynamic. Will it? I don't know. I think it will. If not, I'm dead.
Scenes with Ted Boynton
8 scenes Ted Spanish girls tend to be really promiscuous.
You're such a prig.
Ted No, I wasn't using "promiscuous" pejoratively. It's just a fact. They have completely different attitudes toward sex.
Well, I wasn't using "prig" pejoratively.
Ted Here in Barcelona, everything was swept aside. The world was turned upside down and stayed there.
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the world was upside down before, and now it's right side up?
Ted You're very perceptive.
Montserrat What?
Ted You're very perceptive.
Montserrat What?
Ted You are very perceptive.
Montserrat Oh. Thank you.
Ted Maybe you'd like an analogy. Well, take... take these ants. In the U.S. view, a small group, or cadre, of fierce red ants have taken power and are oppressing the black ant majority. Now the stated U.S. policy is to aid those black ants opposing the red ants in hopes of restoring democracy, and to impede the red ants from assisting their red ant comrades in neighboring ant colonies.
Ramon That is clearly the most disgusting description of U.S. policy I have ever heard. The Third World is just a lot of ants to you.
Jurgen
Those are people dying, not ants.
Ted No, I... I don't think you understand. I was reducing everything to ant scale, the... the U.S. included. An ant White House, an ant CIA, an ant Congress, an ant Pentagon...
Ramon Secret ant landing strips, illegally established on foreign soil.
Where are the red ants?
Ted [pointing to an ant hill]
There.
[Fred crushes the ants]
Maybe you can clarify something for me. Since I've been, you know, waiting for the fleet to show up, I've read a lot, and...
Ted Really?
And one of the things that keeps popping up is about "subtext." Plays, novels, songs - they all have a "subtext," which I take to mean a hidden message or import of some kind. So subtext we know. But what do you call the message or meaning that's right there on the surface, completely open and obvious? They never talk about that. What do you call what's above the subtext?
Ted The text.
OK, that's right, but they never talk about that.
You think wedding vows are going to change everything? God, your naivete is astounding! Didn't you see The Graduate?
Ted You can remember The Graduate?
Yeah, I can remember a few things. Apparently you don't. The end? Katharine Ross has just married this really cool guy - tall, blond, incredibly popular, the make-out king of his fraternity in Berkeley - when this obnoxious Dustin Hoffman character shows up at the back of the church, acting like a total asshole. "Elaine! Elaine!" Does Katharine Ross tell Dustin Hoffman, "Get lost, creep. I'm a married woman"? No. She runs off with him - on a bus. That is the reality.
Are you sure you don't want to go?
Ted No.
Good.
Ted Who am I?
The kid with the kayak, but older and fatter, leave me alone!
Ted This is amazing, he is going to have a complete recovery!
