I'm not saying I don't believe you.
We all have our loops. Our habits. Behaviors that keep us walking in circles. Reaching for the same solutions over and over again. Thinking each time will take you somewhere new, but they don't. And still, it's the neural pathway of least resistance. A path you made. It's the one that kept you safe when you were a child. You learned to push people away before they could hurt you. And now, as an adult, you're still stuck right where you started.
Alone.
Clark
I mean, I'm not lonely. I have... employees, customers...
I didn't say lonely. I said alone.
Clark
I hurt people. I don't want to. It's just the way I'm wired. So, maybe I deserve to be alone.
Do you think anyone deserves to be alone?
Clark
I don't know, but, you know, maybe it's not such a bad thing.
Being alone feels deeply ingrained. I understand. You've had dreams and a lot of resistance, not a lot of support in realizing those dreams. And when we've experienced hurt again and again, we start to expect it It's like, oh, I know this path. I know where it goes. So... are you interested in forging a new path and see where that leads?
Clark
Sure. Why not? You know, I'm here.
Great. So, I want to revisit an exercise we've done before. The role play.
Clark
Oh, the acting thing?
Yeah.
Clark
I feel stupid doing that.
I know. But we have a few minutes. Let's, um... yeah, let's try. A little bit. All right. Let's hit the scene. Let's go back to the night that Barbara left you.
Clark
You mean the night she kicked me out of my own house?
Yeah.
Clark
I'm playing myself.
And I'll be Barbara.
Clark
It is my house, by the way. I'm the one paying for it.
I know.
Clark
Okay. So, um... I'd gotten home late. I don't know how late. She was already asleep. Maybe midnight. She usually goes to bed before. It doesn't matter. The point is, I was in the kitchen and, um... The glass. I broke the glass. And she comes running down to see what happened. And things escalated.
And how do you feel?
Clark
Well, I was... I was drunk. And, um... I felt stupid. I was angry. Because I broke the glass.
Can you say that to me?
Clark
What? To Barbara?
Yeah.
Clark
I'm sorry that I woke you.
Maybe if you'd come home earlier, we could have spent the evening together.
Clark
No, I was... I was working, you know. I came straight home after work.
Be honest with me, please. I can smell it on your breath.
Clark
I had a few beers.
Define a few.
Clark
Well, it was a hard day. I needed to wind down.
All we ever do is wind down. You're always at this door.
Clark
You want kids, right?
We both do.
Clark
Well, you know, having a family takes money, which means someone has to work. Unless being a professional student is considered a job these days.
That's not fair. You know I had to take time off.
Clark
Well, it's not my fault if you can't keep up. How are you gonna be a lawyer if you can't even handle law school? Who even pays for everything while you're gallivanting around campus like a 30-year-old freshman? I'll give you a hint. It's me. I pay for your school. I pay for your time off school. I pay for the roof over your head.
Can I talk now?
Clark
No. No. Because I'd like to know, what do you think happens if you do manage to graduate? You know, you pop out a kid and then you leave me with the bill. Or am I stuck at home changing diapers because you're too busy working for the first time in your life?
Now you're being cruel.
Clark
I'm being honest. I thought that's what you always wanted.
Just because you didn't get to be an architect doesn't mean...
Clark
I am a **** architect! God damn it. I'm just stuck selling shit furniture because someone won't get off their fat **** ass and help me.
How do you feel, Clark?
Clark
Who am I talking to? Me. Here. Malcolm. Um... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, uh... you know, get angry or lose my temper or whatever.
I know. That's the purpose of the whole exercise. This is a good start. To feel what you feel, and then learn to identify a new path. Your reaction was actually quite normal.
Clark
Oh, that's me.
Clark
Sorry, I'm late. Traffic was hell and I couldn't leave early. [paces around]
Let's just use the time we have. How are you today, Clark?
Clark
How do I look?
Fine. A little tired, maybe.
Clark
I look like shit.
Can I ask, and there is no wrong answer here, you know that... Are you intoxicated right now?
Clark
Why do you say it like that?
Like what?
Clark
I haven't had a drink since Friday. [sits in sofa seat] Probably why I look like shit. Can I ask you something?
Sure.
Clark
You ever 5150'd someone?
A few times over the years. When it was necessary.
Clark
Wh-What makes it necessary?
If I believe that the person is a danger to themselves or others. Or they're gravely disabled.
Clark
Okay. Okay. [sits forward] I found something in the store.
Okay. What did you find?
Clark
Uh... a place. I f- I found a place.
A place?
Clark
Yeah. It's like, um... It's like the store just, uh... continues, I guess. It's like... you know, like there's a wall, and on the other side of the wall, the store just keeps going, you know, like-like a... like a copy of itself. I kinda figured they're using mirrors or something to hide the entrance.
Sorry, I'm not following you. Is this a room you didn't know about before?
Clark
No.
Okay.
Clark
So y-y-you go in and at first it just looks like a- like an office building. Like a- like a huge office building, you know? And then, uh... but then you- you keep going and then- then you realize th-th- that none of it makes any sense. It's- it's like, um... imagine describing a dog to someone who's never seen one before and then asking them to draw it. They might get some things right, you know, but there's no way they'd get everything right. You know, the devils in the details. So, from a distance, you look at it, you think you're seeing a dog, but then you look close... Why are you looking at me like that?
I'm just trying to understand.
Clark
Oh. You know, for a shrink, you got a terrible poker face.
What you're saying might sound fantastical, but not dangerous. Are there any people in these offices?
Clark
Not that I've seen. You know, I hear, um... there's footsteps an-an-and then... And then stuff gets moved around when I'm not looking. I know how this sounds, but you gotta understand, it's massive in there. Like New York's subway system massive. You know, for all I know, there's hundreds of people. I just haven't seen them. [reaches into pocket and produces hand drawn map of backrooms and spreads it on coffee table] See? It's like a... It's like a maze that just goes on and on and on. [Mary picks up map and studies it] And sometimes I'm scared I'll get lost.
Why do you think no one else has found this place?
Clark
I don't know. The entrance is on the sub-floor, so... The whole structure's probably underground, you know? It's not any city maps. The entrances are hidden, so... who'd think to look?
I'm not saying I don't believe you. You told me yourself. You haven't had a drink since Friday. Do you think there's a ...
Clark
Okay
Clark-
Clark
No, no.
-if this is true...
Clark
Yeah, I get it. Thank you. [gets up and takes map from Mary, walks to door and turns back, pointing with map in hand] No. I'm gonna come back here with proof. And you're gonna owe me a serious **** apology. [leaves]
Clark
You found it.
Where are we?
Clark
It's... every place that ever was.
How long have you been here? [Hears Pirate Clark monster roar] What was that?
Clark
Stay calm. It's only me. You know me. [Pirate Clark monster approaches then Clark gets Mary in a headlock and chokes her out] I know what I'm doing. I'll give you the power to change.
What is this?
Clark
It's a real mess. Am I right?
Clark, let me help you. Before you do anything you can't take back.
Clark
Answer the question.
Yes. It's a real mess.
Clark
But also beautiful. In a way. No?
Who are these people?
Clark
This place builds them. Or, actually, more like it remembers them. And the more times it remembers something, the less it does. Somewhere out there is a guy in a... striped shirt, but in here, he's... remembered. Just slightly wrong. Somewhere out there is a man in a... wheelchair and a lamp. I'm pretty sure that's how you get all of this. You know, all these places and... rooms and buildings... misremembering themselves.
Clark. Let's talk this through.
Clark
In some ways, they're an improvement on the originals. For starters, they can't feel anything. [walks over to a catatonic mature adult man figure and inserts knife into the man's neck] Can you imagine how good that must feel? I mean, there's no thoughts, no pain, no ego. No fear. They simply... exist. like... like furniture. Yeah. Look at this. Look at this. Best part. [Opens man's shirt] You can eat them. [Reaches into man's abdomen and rips out a chunk resembling furniture stuffing foam and places it on plates, then gestures to Mary to try it, then walks over to fridge, opens it to reveal decapitated head of Kat] Oh, that's my assistant manager, I tried to help her, but she just...
Clark, if you untie me, we can talk this through, get you feeling better,
Clark
What if I did untie you, you know, what then? You'd run around here like a chicken with its head cut off looking for a way out, you know, you'd end up in the same place you are now, like the path thing you're always talking about.
Clark, I just want to help you, just tell me what you need, I'll do it.
Clark
Yeah.
Yeah, yes, please.
Clark
Okay. Well, I want you to tell me that I didn't do anything wrong, you know, that... That you were wrong about me.
I was wrong about you! I was! I was wrong about you!
Clark
No, no, no, not like that, not, not so fast, okay? I mean, I want to, I want to set the scene first. Let's start, um, on the night that, uh, that I got kicked out of my own house. It was, um, it was late. A lot darker. [Turns to a woman figure] Lights, please. [Woman is unresponsive; he turns back to Mary and chuckles] I tried this exercise with her before, it doesn't go anywhere. Fine. I'll do it myself. It's still my house, after all. [Gets up and walks over to light switch, turns off lights] Yeah. [Man figure in couch seat turns on lamp] Thank you. It's better. But there's... still... still... something off. [Pulls knife out of man's neck] Yeah... [approaches woman figure]
Don't. [He cuts off her scalp, placing it over Mary's hair] Please.
Clark
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I broke the glass and woke you up. I know how you like to sleep early. I was at the store late. I guess I lost track of the time. I was checking inventory, but I stopped off for a few beers.
Clark.
Clark
Barbara! I was checking inventory, then I stopped off for a few beers.
Define a few.
Clark
As many as I wanted. Because this is my house. I pay for it. I pay for everything. I pay for you to go to school. I pay for your time off school. I pay for the roof over your head. You want kids, right? Well, that takes money. So someone has to work around here! I said someone has to get off her fat ass and work around here!
Just because you didn't get to be an architect-
Clark
I am a **** architect! I'm just stuck selling shit furniture because someone won't get off her fat **** ass and help me!
I'm not your wife!
Clark
Stay in character! [Mary shakes the fake hair from her head] Stay in character!
I've never even met her!
Clark
Stay in character!
**** you!
Clark
What did you say?
You want to know the real reason your wife left you? It wasn't the drinking! or the stumbling home at all hours or the rage! It was the whining! Nothing's ever your fault, is it? You drink too much? Blame your job. You hate your job? Blame the world. You get kicked out of the house? Blame your wife. You attack me and tie me up? Blame your brain- you are your **** brain, you dipshit!
Clark
You're saying it's my fault?!
Yes. But it's just the way you're wired, isn't it? Isn't it?
Clark
How do I stop doing that?
Honestly. I have no **** idea. I can't help you, Clark. As much as I tried. It's just not up to me. I can't save anyone.
Clark
I don't think I want to change.
Then don't.
Clark
I like it in here. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm... Like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
Then stay, right where you are. But let me go.
Clark
I'm sorry.
For what? [Woman figure suddenly runs into corner]
Clark
This is Mary. She's our therapist. She was just leaving. You don't have to worry. She says we don't need to change. [Pirate Clark monster picks up Clark] It's okay. It's just the way we're wired. [Pirate Clark monster bites down on Clark's neck/shoulder who screams in anguish] No!
Hello, I'm Phil. And you're Mary, yeah? [Sits at opposite end of table facing Mary] I was hoping to ask you a few questions for some clarification on our end, if that's okay. First thing, could you establish how you got in here?
I walked through a wall. In the basement of a furniture store.
Can you confirm that this is the location in question? Okay, good. So you were shopping, or...
I was looking for someone.
Were you looking for this man? Right here?
Where am I right now?
Could you just confirm for me? [Points to photo of Clark again] Is this man right here? Here, the man you were looking for.
Please. Sorry, what was your name?
Phil.
Please, Phil. Where am I?
I'm not... I make, um... sorry, my... our company... [slides ASYNC pamphlet across table] we make MRI machines. Or, I should say, um... We used to make MRI machines. Not anymore. That was before we... before... we found...
You've been there?
Yes, I have. And now, it's my job. Every day, I go in there. And I just try to... Try to find out even a little bit more. I map out areas to the best of my ability. And more and more, I'm convinced... that nothing in our lifetime... Mary... nothing in maybe all of recorded history... means more... than this.
But I don't understand it.
I don't... I can't even describe it. It...
It's like describing a dog to someone Who's never seen a dog. And then asking them to try draw it. Now you want me to... describe it. And then... You'll write it down, and then what?
Mary...
You'll let me go?
We all want the same thing here. We do. We just... want to find out even a little bit... more.
What's gonna happen to me, Phil?
That decision's not up to me. So... If we could just... talk. Just you and me. You know? Just like... Just like two regular people. We could unpack... some of this. We've both been in there. And... and... and... and get on the same page. There are... doors... opening... everywhere. We don't know why... or... what's connecting them. They just sort of keep happening and we don't want to stop them. :[A backrooms montage of Mary's childhood moments and aesthetics, career book launches, poles of Kat and Bobby missing posters and their motel residence, and contemporary urban landscapes follows with a backroomsised catatonic Mary-esque figure in a room]
