Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. As 17's official toastmaster...
Ray Santos ...and bullshitter.
Thank you, Santos. Did I happen to mention you're cut out of my will? I think it appropriate that we recognize the two asswipes... Probationary Firemen... among us today who were officially baptized into the world of Old Man Fire. First, to Tim. Despite the fact that he was born with a rather dull expression, and a really hideous pair of ears, he not only took on the beast but pulled from its clutches, assisted by a more famous and brilliant firefighter, me, a kicking and screaming civilian who will probably wind up suing us for breaking her fingernails. And to Brian... [reveals mannequin] ...whose own contribution was both more beautiful and less likely to sue. You know, when I learned that both McCaffrey brothers would be assigned here at this station together at the same time, my heart was filled with... a sudden desire to transfer. So raise a glass, lads. To funny-looking Tim, and the McCaffrey brothers, who, despite the fact that they have gotten on each other's nerves for years, have managed with great effort to still be pissed off at each other... Gentlemen.
AM All men in the firehouse
**** you! [laughter]
Jennifer Vaitkus We believe you're holding back on us, to embarrass the Alderman because of his fire department cutbacks.
Alderman, I have an uncomplicated job: To determine if a fire is arson or not, and if so, to catch the son-of-a-bitch doing it. And if my investigative methods happen to muck up the campaign of certain mayor wannabes, I gotta tell ya... I'm not gonna go losing any sleep over it.
In a word, Brian, what is this job all about?
It's a living thing, Brian. It breathes, it eats, and it hates. The only way to beat it is to think like it. To know that this flame will spread this way across the door and up across the ceiling, not because of the physics of flammable liquids, but because it wants to. Some guys on this job, the fire owns them, makes 'em fight it on it's level, but the only way to truly kill it is to love it a little. Just like Ronald.
So stop me if I got this wrong. Now the fire is almost out, you're upstairs on the unburned floor checking for heat, is that correct? And you've been told by your Battalion Chief, your Captain and by me not to do nothin', right? Not to do nothin' until ordered. That's correct, right?
Ok. But now the itch starts. The 'Glory Boy' flash starts. 'Hey, I'm a hero. Heroes don't just stand around.' You can tell me, that's what it was, wasn't it?
So you punched out a window for ventilation. Was that before or after you noticed you were standing in a lake of gasoline? WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU NOTICED YOU WERE STANDING IN A LAKE OF GASOLINE, YOU IDIOT?!
You could have burned or killed or crispened half that company! To say nothing of the fact that you wrecked the physical evidence that I use to prove that it's arson, and you know how goddamned hard it is to determine the cause of these fires! Now you go home and you think about that!
I sent away for the copy of Life Magazine. The one with your picture on the front. It's a collectible.
Who's doing this, Ronald?
Wrong question. Who isn't? It's not a spark because there's not enough damage. He wouldn't have had any fun. It's not an insurance scam because there isn't any profit.
Do you know who's doing this?
You want to know who? I want to know if this kid really wanted to be just like his dad.
I wanted to be him. I wanted to be him more than anything else in the world.
And you watched him dance with the animal. You saw your dad burn.
**** you, Ronald! Who's doing this, huh?
Did it look at you? Did the fire look at you? It did. Whoa. Wow! Our worlds aren't that far apart after all, are they? So, whoever did this this knows the animal well, doesn't he? He knows him real well, but he won't let him loose. He won't let him have any fun, so he does not love him. Now who doesn't love fire? And is around trychtichlorate all day long?
See... that wasn't such a long walk after all.
Schmidt Yeah, it's jumping floors, Lieutenant!
Well, where's the second-in companies, huh?
Schmidt Sorry, man, John Wayne time. You're on your own, boss.
Hey, Swayzak! You missed it, buddy! Oh, you should have been there, man! Really, it was ****in' great. I mean, we almost lost it. We almost lost a whole goddamn company for you just because, well, you know, since you shut down Thirty-Three. Well, there's no ****in' backup, right? And we do, we appreciate it. I mean, I don't know about the rest of the guys, but you got my vote for mayor!
Look, Lieutenant, if you have a problem, why don't you help us? Why don't you work with the task force...
Task force? Three guys have died already this year because of the cuts made by your ****IN' TASK FORCE!
You don't understand. My cousin, my cousin, Sally, used to work at Swayzak's office. She saw the files, Stephen. She saw what he did!
You set me up with those chemicals on the boat?
Somebody had to stop these pricks, Stephen!
Would you look at me, Axe?
Would you please listen to me?
What were you thinking? You burned people!
When Sally showed me what was in Swayzak's files—
You saw Swayzak's files?!
I should've told you. I should've let you on it.
Let him in on what, John? Murder?
Swayzak and those assholes were closing firehouses. They were getting our friends killed for money! I had to, Stephen! I had to do it for the department!
Did you do it for Tim, John?
[to Brian]
That was an accident!
[to Stephen]
Jesus Christ! Why'd you have to go in there so **** early?
That's why you wanted me to wait.
[to Brian]
You shut up! Your dad would **** puke if he saw how you shit on his department!
What would he say about what you're doing, John?!
[to Stephen, ignoring Brian]
Your dad died saving my life. He died saving my life, and these people were killing firemen for money.
He killed our friends for money! What the **** would you do?
[to Stephen]
Look, you're his lieutenant, Stephen! You've gotta handle this!
[The roof starts weakening]
It's going!
Get to the side, Brian! It's gonna go!
[Rimgale and Brian crash Alderman Swayzak's press conference]
These detectives would like to question you on how come you paid Donald Cosgrove, Jeffrey Holcum and Allan Seagrave to create a phony manpower study! [throws the files at the media, resulting in a barrage of questions] Ask him who made money off firemen dying!
[in Swayzak's ear]
You see that glow flashing in the corner of your eye? That's your career dissipation light. It just went into high gear.
