Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
[Serves everyone the same, nondescript slop]
For the appetizer, Caesar salad, escargot, and your Oriental spring rolls.
3rd most-quoted character in Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001): in 23 of its 140 quotes
Most scenes with: Milo Thatch (9), Vincenzo Santorini (7), Commander Lyle Tiberius Rourke (6)
I got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whisky and lard.
More lines from Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
9 quotes
Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
Dang lightning-bugs done bit me on my sit-upon. Somebody's gonna have to suck out this poison. Don't everybody jump up at once.
Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
They can smell fear just by lookin' at ya. So keep quiet.
Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
You done stuffed my wagon full t'bustin' with non-essentials! Look at all this! Cinnamon, oregano - cilantro? What in cockadoodle is cilantro?! [picks up a batch of lettuce] What is this?
Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
[serves everyone the same, nondescript slop]
Come and get it! For the appetizer, Caesar salad, escargot, and yer Oriental spring rolls.
Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
[on seeing Atlantis from afar]
Sweet mother of Jefferson Davis!
Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
[Gives Milo more food]
Yer so skinny, if you turned sideways an' stuck out yer tongue, yu'd look like a zipper!
Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
Saddle up, partners! Bring jerky and ammo!
Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
I ain't so good at speechifyin'...but I want you to have this. It's the bacon grease from the whole trip.
Scenes with Jebidiah Allardyce "Cookie" Farnsworth
13 scenes
Vinny
You didn't just drink that, did you?!
Mm-hmm.
Vinny
That's not good! That's nitroglycerin!
Vinny
[Milo holds his breath]
Don't move, don't breathe, don't do anything. Except pray, maybe...
Mole
[jumps up behind Milo, scaring him]
BOOM!
[Vinny and Mole laugh]
Looks like we hit a roadblock. [looks to Vinny] What do you think, Vinny?
Vinny
I could unroadblock that if I had about two hundred of these [points to a stick of TNT in his hand]... Only problem is I got about [counts on fingers] ten, plus, [pulls up a small bag] five of my own... Couple of cherry bombs... [pulls out a flare]... Road flare...
Vinny
[Rourke just looks at Vinny]
Hey! Too bad we don't have some nitroglycerin, eh, Milo? [Milo gives Vinny a "drop dead" look while Mole laughs]
Looks like all our chances for survival rest with you, Mr Thatch. You and that little book.
Packard
We're all gonna die.
Thanks, Cookie, that looks... greasier than usual.
Cookie
Ya like it? Well have some more. You're so skinny that if you stood sideways and stuck out your tongue, you'd look like a zipper.
Someone needs to talk to that girl.
Mole
I will go!
Vinny
Someone with good people skills.
Mole
I will do it!
Someone who won't scare her away.
Mole
I volunteer!
Packard Someone who can speak the language.
Mole
For the good of the mission, I will go!
[to Milo, who is not paying attention]
Good man, Thatch. Thanks for volunteering.
[Mole cries]
Hold on, back up! Are you saying this whole volcano can blow at any time?
Mole
No, no, no, no. That would take an explosive force of great magnitude.
Vinny
[Everyone looks at Vinny, who is fiddling with a time bomb.]
Maybe I should do this later, huh?
[Audrey climbs into vehicle and throws random bolts and pipes out.] [from inside digger]
It looks like the boiler's shot. I'm gonna have to pull a spare from one of the trucks.
Uh, could I just...
¡No toques nada! I'll be right back [walks away]
Mole
[ Milo grabs Audrey's wrench and begins turning valves, then hits it. The vehicle starts again.]
SHE LIVES!
Hey, what'd you do?
[Milo starts raving on about how the boiler is like the Smithsonian's]
Yeah, yeah, thank you very much.
[Audrey spins around to face milo, her hand clenched in a fist. Milo flinches]
Two for flinching.
[Audrey punches Milo twice. Mole laughs at him.]
Rourke! We got a big hit and we're taking in water fast! I don't wanna be around when it hits the boilers!
How much time do we have?
20 minutes, if the bulkhead holds.
[BOOM!]
You better make that 5.
You heard the girl. Let's move!
Move where?
Packard, let's go!
Packard
[on the phone]
And he took his suitcase? Marge, honey, I don't think he's coming back.
PACKARD!
Packard
Gonna have to call you back. [slight pause] No-no, I'll call you.
Excuse me, you dropped your dy... dy... dynamite! [Nervous laugh] What else have you, uh, got in there?
Vinny
Oh, er... Gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and... paper clips - big ones. You know, just, uh, office supplies.
Any advice?
Vinny
Yeah -- don't get shot.
The name's Sweet, Joshus Sweet. Medical officer.
Yeah. Milo Thatch.
Milo Thatch, you're my three o'clock! [reaches into his back and pulls out a saw] Well, no time like the present.
Nice, isn't it? The catalogue says that this little beauty can saw through a femur in 28 seconds. I'm betting I can cut that time in half! [puts the saw away and comes out with a tongue depresser] Now, stick out your tongue and say "Ah"!
Well, I don't-- [gahs then grunts as Sweet puts the stick into his mouth]
So where're you from? [Milo grunts something] Really? I have family up that way! Beautiful country up there! You do any fishing?
Oh...a little...
Me? I hate fishing. I hate fish. Hate the taste, hate the smell and I hate all them little bones. [as he speaks he does several things from puting the depresser away to taking Milo's pulse, then finally pulls up two bottles] Here, I'm gonna need you to fill these up.
Packard
[on tannoy]
Would Milo Thatch please report to the bridge?
Thank you... I mean, nice meeting you. [runs off]
Cookie
[Everyone sleeping on the tents, Kida appears and hunters with the masks while hunting trip. She look for Milo's bag search for picture to Thaddeus and Milo and he's yawning up out of the tent. Kida and the hunters it startled runs off the tent. Milo turns a flashlight on with the shovel toilet paper.] [Snores in the tent]
The redhead's got a gun. [snores]
[As Milo took the flashlight sees a Firefly hive, glowing flies, he zip down the pants, it buzz off the fireflies then drops a flashlight and squish by shovel toilet paper turns to fire]
Holy-- Whoa! [Fireflies burns a tents and there many glowing flies out of hive] Fire. [Fireflies chases and he alarm calling to everyone out of tent] Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
[Glances at a clock reading 2:00 A.M]
I'm gonna kill him. [out the tent] Thatch, go back to bed.
Get some water on that fire!
No time! Get us into those caves! Move it! Move it! Move it!
Cookie
Yah-ha! Gertie, pull!
Mole
[It is destroyed by watertank truck, crash his trucks it burns by fireflies, The Hive breaks down to the bridge] [Mole's digger backs up to steering tires squealing wheel]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[The Bridge crash down by glowing fireflies in the cave, as everyone drive trucks going back down into Big Hole, and hitting bumps ahead get shocked by an accidents]
Whoa! Whoa!
Aah!
Aah!
[the screen cuts to black, and a crash is heard]
Vinny
[Commander Rourke and the others destroy the door to the throne room with a bomb]
Knock, knock.
Cookie
[Raises and aims shotgun]
Room service!
[Nedakh's guards raise their spears] [Holds Kida as hostage]
Tell them to drop their weapons, now!
[Nedakh, in Atlantean, tells his guards to drop their spears and they do so] [Commander Rourke's men search the room for the Heart of Atlantis]
Spread out! Search everywhere!
You're not applying yourself, son. There's got to be something else.
Well, there isn't. It just says, "The heart of Atlantis lies in the eyes of her king."
Well, then maybe Old King Cole here can help us fill in the blanks. How about it, chief? Where's the crystal chamber?
You will destroy yourselves.
Maybe I'm not being clear.
[Commander Rourke punches Nedakh hard in the chest, shocking everyone including Kida. Nedakh falls on the ground, wounded] [Angry Atlantean speaking]
Rourke, this was not a part of the plan!
Plan's changed, doc. I'd suggest you put a bandage on that bleeding heart of yours. It doesn't suit a mercenary. [Sits on Nedakh's throne, knocking over a bowl of fruit and spilling its contents everywhere] Well, as usual, diplomacy has failed us. [To Nedakh] Now I'm going to count to 10 and you're going to tell me where the crystal is. 1. [**** pistol] 2. [Aims at Nedakh, shocking everyone] 9. T- [stops as he looks at the water than back at the book]
[The presence of Heart of Atlantis has been revealed in the water]
"The heart of Atlantis lies in the eyes of her king"? This is it, we're in! [throws the Shepherd's Journal back at Milo and heads to the entrance to Heart of Atlantis]
Rourke, for the last time, you've got to listen to me. You don't have the slightest idea what this power is capable of.
True, but I can think of a few countries who'd pay anything to find out.
Hurry. Get on.
[Milo, Kida, Commander Rourke and Helga Sinclair get on the platform leading to find the Heart of Atlantis]
Jackpot.
Other characters in Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Milo Thatch
Michael J. Fox
Commander Lyle Tiberius Rourke
James Garner
Dr. Joshua Strongbear Sweet
Phil Morris
Vincenzo Santorini
Don Novello
Helga Katrina Sinclair
Claudia Christian
Wilhemina Bertha Packard
Florence Stanley
Audrey Rocio Ramirez
Jacqueline Obradors
Princess 'Kida' Kidagakash
Cree Summer
The King of Atlantis
Gaëtan "Mole" Molière
Gaeton "Mole" Moliere
Corey Burton
King Kashekim Nedakh
Preston B. Whitmore
John Mahoney
The Queen of Atlantis
Wilhelmina Bertha Packard
Florence Stanley
