[at the dinner table]
Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go **** himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.
And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a **** prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.
How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.
Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT. Someone pass me the asparagus.
...
I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist. You two do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, and I don't complain.
Oh, you don't complain? Then I must be psychotic, then! What is this? Yeah, let's bring in the laugh-meter and see how loud it gets.
[sits back down to eat]
Oh, yeah, and one more thing, from now on we're going to have alternate dinner music because frankly - and I don't think I'm alone here - [looks in Jane's direction] I'm tired of this Lawrence Welk shit!
