Bob Woodward Hi, I'm Bob Woodward of the Washington Post--and--what's that?--you've never heard of me?--I can't help that--you don't believe I'm with the Post?--what do you want me to do, Madam, shout "extra--extra"?
Most-quoted character in All the President's Men (1976): in 34 of its 67 quotes
Most scenes with: Carl Bernstein (12), Deep Throat (8), Harry Rosenfeld (3)
The head of security for the reelection of a Republican President got caught bugging the national offices of the Democrats? What the hell does that mean?
More lines from Bob Woodward
5 quotes Bob Woodward Bob Woodward [about Martha Mitchell]
I just don't get it; a CREEP secretary being scared, that's one thing. But what does the wife of one of the most powerful men in America have to be afraid of?
Bob Woodward This is terrific work, if you like rejection.
Bob Woodward At Yale once, they held an auction. There was this woman and her name was Lulu Landis. Her postcards came up for sale. She had 1400 postcards written to her and I'd never heard of her before but I knew I had to have those cards, I had to know why anyone would get so many messages. I paid sixty-five dollars for them... I got all crazy trying to work it out and first it was just a maze but then I found that her husband killed himself in Dayton, and once I had that, it all began to open, an evangelist had come to Dayton and his horses hit Lulu Landis at the corner of 13th and Vermillion and she was paralyzed. Permanently, and her favorite thing til then had been traveling and all her friends, whenever they went anyplace, they wrote her. Those cards, they were her eyes...
Bob Woodward [To Bernstein, getting on an elevator]
Is there any place you don't smoke?
Scenes with Bob Woodward
28 scenes
Where's that cheery face we've come to know and love?
Woodward You call me in on my day off because some idiots have broken into local Democratic Headquarters--tell me, Harry, why should I be smiling?
As usual, that keen mind of yours has pegged the situation perfectly. Except (a) it wasn't local Democratic Headquarters, it was National Democratic Headquarters--and (b) these weren't just any idiots, these were special idiots, seeing as when they were arrested at 2:30 this morning, they were all wearing business suits and Playtex gloves and were carrying--a walkie-talkie, forty rolls of film, cameras, lock picks, pen-sized tear gas guns, plus various bugging devices. Not to mention over two thousand dollars, mostly in sequenced hundred dollar bills.
Woodward Mr. Caddy? My name's Bob Woodward, I'm from the Post and I wanted to ask about how you happened to come on this case--
Caddy
I'm not here.
Woodward OK. Douglas Caddy, the attorney of record, when questioned about his presence in the courtroom, denied he was in the courtroom, "I'm not here," Mr. Caddy said.
Caddy
Clearly, I am here, but only as an individual, I'm not the attorney of record. Mr. Rafferty has that position. Whatever you want, you'll have to get from him, I have nothing more to say.
Judge Will you please state your professions.
Barker
Anti-communists.
Judge Anti-communists? That, sir, is not your average profession. Your name, please.
McCord James McCord.
Judge Will you step forward, sir? And what is your occupation, Mr. McCord?
McCord Security consultant.
Judge Where?
McCord Government, uh, recently, uh, retired.
Judge Where in the government?
McCord Central Intelligence Agency.
Judge Where?
McCord The C.I.A.
Woodward Holy shit.
Woodward Who's Charles Colson?
I would liken your query to being in Russia half a century ago and asking someone, "I understand who Lenin is and Trotsky I got too, but who's this yokel Stalin?"
Woodward Who's Colson, Harry?
The most powerful man in America is President Nixon, probably you've heard his name. The second most powerful man is Robert Haldeman. Just below him are a trio: Mr. Erlichman is Haldeman's friend, and they protect the President from everybody which is why they are referred to as either The German Shepherds or the Berlin Wall. Mr. Mitchell we've already discussed. Mr. Colson is the President's special counsel.
Woodward Thanks, Harry. Know anything about Colson?
Just that on his office wall there's a cartoon with a caption reading, "When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."
Hunt
Howard Hunt here.
Woodward Hi, I'm Bob Woodward of the Post and--
Hunt
Yes, yes, what is it?
Woodward I was just kind of wondering why your name and phone number were in the address books of two of the men arrested at Watergate?
Hunt
Good God!
Woodward According to White House personnel, Hunt definitely works there as a consultant for Colson. But when I called the White House Press office, they said he hadn't worked there for three months. Then the P.R. guy said the weirdest thing to me. [reading] "I am convinced that neither Mr. Colson nor anyone else at the White House had any knowledge of, or participation in, this deplorable incident at the Democratic National Committee."
Isn't that what you'd expect them to say?
Woodward Absolutely.
So?
Woodward I never asked them about Watergate. I only said what were Hunt's duties at the White House. They volunteered that he was innocent when nobody asked was he guilty.
Woodward What the hell were you doing rewriting my story?
I sure couldn't hurt it, could I?
Woodward It was fine the way it was.
It was bullshit the way it was.
Woodward I have to stand here and listen to the staff correspondent from Virginia?
What have you been here, nine months? I been in this business since I was sixteen.
Woodward And you've had some **** meteoric rise, that's for sure. By the time you turn forty you might be the head of the Montana bureau.
You only got the job because both you and Bradlee went to Yale.
Woodward Bradlee went to Harvard.
They're all the same, all those Ivy League places. They teach you about striped ties and suddenly you're smart.
Woodward I'm smart enough to know my story was solid.
Mine's better.
Woodward No way.
Read 'em both and you'll see.
Woodward [Woodward reads the stories]
Crap.
Is mine better?
Woodward [Woodward nods]
What is it about my writing that's so rotten?
Mainly it has to do with your choice of words.
Woodward Carl?
Yeah?
Woodward **** you, Carl.
You heard? They put us both on the break-in thing. Simons liked the way we worked together.
Woodward It's OK; I'm sorry I called you a failure.
Forget it, the main thing--did you call me a failure?
Woodward I was sure trying.
Librarian
Library.
Hi. Carl Bernstein of the Washington Post. I was just wondering if you remember the names of any of the books that Howard Hunt checked out on Senator Kennedy.
Librarian
I think I do remember, he took out a whole bunch of material. Let me just go see.
What do you think?
Woodward Hunt doesn't seem like your ordinary consultant.
Maybe a political operative of some sort.
Woodward A spy, you mean?
It makes sense; Hunt worked for the C.I.A. and the White House was paranoid about Teddy Kennedy.
Librarian
Mr. Bernstein?
Yes, ma'am.
Librarian
What I said before? I was wrong. The truth is, I don't have a card that Mr. Hunt took out any Kennedy material. I remember getting that material out for somebody, but it wasn't Mr. Hunt. The truth is, I've never had any requests at all from Mr. Hunt. [pause] The truth is, I don't know Mr. Hunt.
You thought I'd help out on specifics? I'll confirm what you get, try to keep you on the right track, but that's all. Are you guys really working? [Woodward nods] How much?
Woodward I don't know maybe sixteen, eighteen hours a day--we've got sources at Justice, the FBI, but it's still drying up.
Then there must be something, mustn't there. Look, forget the myths the media's created about the White House--the truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.
Woodward If you don't like them, why won't you be more concrete with me?
Because the press stinks too--history on the run, that's all you're interested in. You come up with anything?
Woodward John Mitchell resigned as head of CREEP to spend more time with his family. That doesn't exactly have the ring of truth. Howard Hunt's been found--there was talk that his lawyer had 25 thousand in cash in a paper bag.
Follow the money. Always follow the money.
Woodward What do you mean? Where?
Oh, I can't tell you that.
Woodward But you could tell me that.
No, I have to do this my way. You tell me what you know, and I'll confirm. I'll keep you in the right direction if I can, but that's all. Just... follow the money.
Woodward This man Gordon Liddy--he's going to be tried along with Hunt and the five burglars--we know he knows a lot, we just don't know what.
You changed cabs? You're sure no one followed you?
Woodward I did everything you said, but it all seemed--
Melodramatic? Things are past that--remember, these are men with switchblade mentalities who run the world as if it were Dodge City.
Woodward What's the whole thing about--do you know?
What I know, you'll have to find out on your own.
Woodward Liddy--you think there's a chance he'll talk?
Talk? Once, at a gathering, he put his hand over a candle. And he kept it there. He kept it right in the flame until his flesh seared. A woman who was watching asked, "What's the trick?" And he replied. "The trick is not minding."
Woodward This should take only a minute, Mr. Dahlberg, but we're doing a follow-up on the break-in...and I was kind of curious about your check.
Dahlberg
Check?
Woodward The twenty-five thousand dollar one....The one with your name on it...In Bernard Barker's Florida account...Bernard Barker, the Watergate burglar.
Dahlberg
You're definitely doing a story?
Woodward Yes, sir.
Dahlberg
I'm a proper citizen, I'm a decent man, I don't do anything that isn't decent or proper. [pause] I know I shouldn't tell you this...That twenty-five thousand dollars is money I collected for Nixon in this year's campaign.
Woodward I see. And how do you think it reached Miami?
dahlberg
I don't know; I really don't. The last time I saw it was when I was in Washington. I gave it to the Finance department of the Committee to Re-Elect the President. How it got to that burglar, your guess is as good as mine.
Woodward A friend at the Committee told us to contact you.
Woman Who was it?
We never reveal our sources, which is why you can talk to us.
Woodward It's safe, try it, you'll see.
We understand your problem...
Woodward You believe in the President, you wouldn't ever want to do anything disloyal.
We appreciate your position--really.
Woman You people--you think that you can come into someone's life, squeeze what you want, then get out. [to Bernstein] You don't appreciate a goddamn thing, mister. [to Woodward] And you don't understand nothing. But the Committee's briefed us on you--so get the hell out of here. Do you like scaring the life out of decent people?--'cause if you don't, in the name of God--stop it!
Man
I know who you are and I'm not afraid but that don't mean I'll talk to you either--you're just a couple Democrats out to stop Nixon getting re-elected.
Woodward Democrats?
Man
That's right.
I hate both parties.
Woodward And I'm a Republican.
Republican?
Woodward Sure.
Who'd you vote for?
Woodward When?
'68.
Woodward Nixon.
Nixon
[on television]
No one in this administration, presently employed, was involved in this very bizarre incident. What really hurts in matters of this sort is not the fact that they occur, because overzealous people in campaigns do things that are wrong. What really hurts is if you try to cover it up.
Woodward Did he just say what I think he said?
You voted for him.
Debbie Sloan This is an honest house.
Woodward That's why we'd like to see your husband.
Facing certain criminal charges that might be brought against some people that are innocent, we just feel that it would be...
Woodward It's really for his benefit.
Debbie Sloan No, it's not.
Woodward [long pause]
No, it's not.
We were hoping that maybe now you could... We know why you left the Committee. We know you're not guilty of anything. But we know you know who is.
Sloan Look, come in. We'll have to be quiet--my wife's asleep...I'd like to talk to you, I really would, but my lawyers say I shouldn't until after the Watergate trial.
Woodward You handed out the money. Maybe there's a legitimate explanation for the way it was done.
Then again, maybe things are even worse than we've written...
Sloan They're worse. That's why I quit.
Sloan Try and understand this. I'm a decent Republican. I believe in Richard Nixon. I worked in the White House four years--so did my wife. What happened on June 17 I don't think the President knew anything about. Some of his men I'm not so sure of.
Do you think the truth will come out at the trial?
Sloan That's another of the things I'm not so sure of.
Because people at the Committee were told to lie to the prosecutors?
Sloan We were never told flat out "Don't talk." But the message was clear.
To cover up?
Sloan Well, they sure didn't ask us to come forward and tell the truth.
Woodward Does "they" mean the White House?
Sloan As opposed to the Committee? The Committee's not an independent operation. Everything is cleared with the White House. I don't think that the FBI or the prosecutors understand that.
What's the topic for tonight?
Woodward Rat****.
In my day, it was simply called the double cross. I believe the CIA refers to it as Mind****. In our context, it simply means infiltration of the Democrats.
Woodward I know what it means--Segretti wouldn't go on the record, but if he would, we know he'd implicate Chapin. And that would put us inside the White House.
Yes, the little rat****ers are now running our government.
Woodward Who?--be specific. How high up?
You'll have to find that out, won't you.
You were doing so well and then you got stupid, you went too fast--Christ, what a royal screw up.
Woodward I know, I know, the pressure's off the White House and it's all back on the Post.
You've done worse than let Haldeman slip away: you've got people feeling sorry for him. I didn't think that was possible. In a conspiracy like this, you build from the outer edges and go step by step. If you shoot too high and miss, everybody feels more secure. You've put the investigation back months.
Woodward Yes, we know that. And if we're wrong, we're resigning. Were we wrong?
You'll have to find that out, won't you?
Woodward I'm tired of your chickenshit games. I don't want hints, I want what you know!
[Woodward has just finished writing his first article on the Watergate break-in, and puts it in the pile to be submitted. Bernstein walks to the desk, sees the story, then takes it and starts working on it himself. Woodward goes to him]
How's it going?
Woodward What're you doing?
I'm polishing it a little.
Woodward You're what?
Polishing.
Woodward What's wrong with it?
Nothing, nothing, it's good.
Woodward Then what are you doing with it?
I'm helping it, it's a little fuzzy.
Woodward May I have it?
I don't think you're saying what you mean.
Woodward I know exactly what I mean.
Not here. I can't tell from this whether Hunt works for Coulson or Coulson works for Hunt-
Woodward May I have it, please?
-so many conclusions to this-
Woodward May I have it?
Yes, I'm not looking for a fight.
Woodward I'm not looking for a fight either.
I'm just aware of the fact that you've only been here nine months.
Woodward What's that got to do with anything?
Well, I've been in the business since I was 16.
Woodward What're you saying?
Look, I'm trying to tell you that if you'd read mine, and then read yours-
Woodward Can I read yours?
Yeah. [Woodward takes Bernstein's version and reads them side-by-side] I walked by, gave yours a glance, it didn't look right, so I figured I'd just refine it a little. The first paragraph has to have more clarity, the readers gotta understand. You don't mention Coulson's name till the third paragraph. I think mine's better, but you go ahead and read. If you think yours is better, we'll give yours to the desk. I've got Coulson's name up front. He's a White House consultant and nobody knows-
Woodward You're right. Yours is better. [Goes to his desk, comes back with a bunch of papers] If you're gonna do it, do it right, here are my notes. If you're gonna hype it, hype it with the facts. I don't mind what you did, I mind the way you did it.
You thought I'd help out on specifics? I'll confirm what you get, try to keep you on the right track, but that's all. Are you guys really working? [Woodward nods] How much?
Woodward I don't know maybe sixteen, eighteen hours a day—we've got sources at Justice, the FBI, but it's still drying up. The story is dry. All we've got are pieces. We can't seem to figure out what the puzzle is supposed to look like. John Mitchell resigns as the head of CREEP, and says that he wants to spend more time with his family. I mean, it sounds like bullshit, we don't exactly believe that...
No, heh, but it's touching. Forget the myths the media's created about the White House. The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.
Woodward Hunt's come in from the cold. Supposedly he's got a lawyer with $25,000 in a brown paper bag.
Follow the money. Always follow the money.
Woodward What do you mean? Where?
Oh, I can't tell you that.
Woodward But you could tell me that.
No, I have to do this my way. You tell me what you know, and I'll confirm. I'll keep you in the right direction if I can, but that's all. Just... follow the money.
Where's the goddamn story?
Woodward The money's the key to whatever this is.
Says who?
Deep Throat.
Who?
Oh, that's Woodward's garage freak; his source in the executive department.
Garage Freak? Jesus, what kind of a crazy **** story is this? Who did you say?
He's on deep background, I call him deep... throat.
Woodward Who told them not to investigate the break-in?
Don't you understand what you're on to?
Woodward Mitchell knew?
Of course Mitchell knew. You think something this size just happens?
Woodward Halderman had to know too.
You'll hear nothing from me about Haldeman.
Woodward Segretti told me and Bernstein that...
Woodward The letter that destroyed the Muskie candidates... did that come from inside the White House?
You're missing the overall.
Woodward What overall?
The people behind all of this were frightened of Muskie and that's what got him destroyed. They wanted to run against McGovern. Look who they're running against. They bugged offices, they followed people, planted false press leaks, passed fake letters... they canceled Democratic campaign rallies, they investigated Democratic private lives, they planted spies, they stole documents... and now don't tell me that all of this was the work of one Donald Segretti.
Woodward Do your associates in the FBI and the Justice Department know about this?
[Woodward turns when a lone car passes by, when he turns back, Deep Throat is gone]
What's the topic for tonight?
Woodward Rat****.
In my day, it was simply called the double cross. I believe the CIA refers to it as Mind****. In our context, it simply means infiltration of the Democrats.
Woodward I know what it means—Segretti wouldn't go on the record, but if he would, we know he'd implicate Chapin.
And that will put you inside the White House.
Woodward Be specific. How high up?
You'll have to find that out for yourself. I'm taking great risk meeting you here. I don't like newspapers. I don't care for any inexactitudes or shallowness.
Woodward CREEP's slush fund... we've just about got that down nailed town with the rat-****, I don't know how...
[footsteps are heard in the distance]
Did you remember to change cabs before coming here?
Woodward Yeah. Does the FBI know what we know? Does the Justice Department? Why haven't they done anything?
If it didn't deal directly with the Watergate break-in, they didn't pursue.
Woodward Segretti crisscrossed the country, at least a dozen times. And always stayed in cities where there were Democratic primaries.
So if the break-in was just one incident in a campaign of sabotage that began a whole year before Watergate...
Woodward Then for the first time the break-in makes sense.
This isn't so crazy. This whole thing didn't start with the bugging of the headquarters.
Woodward Segretti was doing this a year before the bugging.
And a year before, Nixon wasn't slaughtering Muskie, he was running behind Muskie, before Muskie self-destructed.
Woodward If he self-destructed!
You were doing so well and then you got stupid, you went too fast—Christ, what a royal screw up.
Woodward I know, I know, the pressure's off the White House and it's all back on the Post.
Woodward Yes.
You've done worse than let Haldeman slip away: you've got people feeling sorry for him. I didn't think that was possible. In a conspiracy like this, you build from the outer edges and go step by step. If you shoot too high and miss, everybody feels more secure. You've put the investigation back months.
Woodward Yes, we know that. And if we're wrong, we're resigning...Were we wrong?
You'll have to figure that on your own.
Woodward Listen, I'm tired of your chickenshit games! I don't want hints. I need to know what you know!
...It was a Haldeman operation. The whole business was run by Haldeman, the money, everything. It won't be easy getting at him, he was insulated, you'll have to find out how. Mitchell started doing covert stuff before anyone else, the list is longer than anyone can imagine... it involves the entire U.S. Intelligence Community. FBI, CIA, Justice...it's incredible. Cover-up had little to do with Watergate, it was mainly to protect the covert operations. It leads everywhere. Get out your notebook, there's more. Your lives are in danger.
