Guess what I'm going to do?
What?
I'm going to come back from the dead.
Because I'm rich.
Roger Cobb
Steve Martin · 13 quotes
Edwina Cutwater
Lily Tomlin · 10 quotes
Most scenes together: Edwina Cutwater & Roger Cobb (7)
All of Me quotes
Page 1 of 2I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry if I ruined your birthday.
And I'm sorry if I made your being dead an unpleasant experience.
Well I don't see why you're getting so upset about all this.
Because I want my body back! And I want my freedom and my privacy! And most of all, I'd like to be able to take a leak without being fondled!
You may find this hard to believe, but 'fondling you' while you make pee-pee is not my idea of a good time.
Miss Cutwater, as your attorney, I must advise you - your will can be challenged if you are deemed to be... not of sound mind.
Why, you presumptious ambulance chaser. Are you implying that I am not of sound mind?
No, I wouldn't do that. But I think everyone else in the solar system might.
You'll have to do it.
Do what?
You know, take it out.
Take what out?
The little fireman.
The little fireman?
You know, my penis.
How dare you say penis to a dead person.
[After Roger has been humiliated, fired and thrown out of court, largely because of Edwina] [Thrilled]
Oh, Roger! I see what you mean about enjoying life! It's to be savoured!
You failed! Since you started helping me, in the last twenty-four hours, I've lost my girl, my job, I've alienated my dog! I broke my sunglasses! You can't even get that kind anymore. Stop helping me!!
You know, you are so ungrateful. If it wasn't for me, you would get that partnership, and then you'd have to take cases like that, and kiss your father's high ideals goodbye. You'd also be married to Peggy; you call that savouring life?
Oh, look who's talking!
I spent my life in a sick bed. What's your excuse?
[Recounting her lonely, friendless life] [Tearfully]
Once, my parents hired a clown to entertain me. But he didn't like me! So when my parents were in the room, he'd just sit there, and didn't lift a finger to amuse me!
[After Edwina has called him a 'peasant']
Listen, lady. Just because my grandfather didn't rape the environment and exploit the workers doesn't make me a peasant. And it's not that he didn't want to rape the environment and exploit the workers; I'm sure he did. It's just that as a barber, he didn't have that much opportunity.
[On finding her soul inside Roger Cobb's body]
I don't believe this. I can't even die right.
[To Edwina]
You're like an energy vampire. You suck the life out of people and take the fun out of being a lawyer.
[To his dog]
Don't look at me like that. I'm not going in there as a messenger boy; I'm a trained legal advisor. No more being looked down on by people who think they're better than I am because they're rich. From now on, I'm gonna be respected... by people who think they're better than I am because they're rich.
How dare you say 'penis' to a dead person.
Is everyone here bananas?