[Over stock footage of various historical events in a parody of a newsreel plays in a theater] [first lines]

1964: A crucial moment in American history: Lyndon Johnson is re-elected to the presidency by a landslide, the New York World's Fair introduces a bright new future. [scene cuts to show Bullwinkle pulling Rocky from his hat] And after 5 scintillating years on the air,

Presto!

The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show is abruptly canceled.
Rocket "Rocky" J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle: [shocked] Canceled?!

[The duo is pulled away by a vaudeville hook as two janitors come by to clean up the mess]

Uh, sorry about that, boys.

[The screen cuts to a card reading "TODAY", followed by shots of more recent live-action footage]

A lot has changed in 35 years: Velcro has replaced the zipper, sneakers have lights on them, the Cold War is over, and The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show is still cancelled.

[As the duo get pulled away again, the newsreel ends as a hobo yawns and exits the theater. Cut to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota where things are looking lively with the locals]

Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, once the beloved home of Rocky and Bullwinkle had been a thriving cartoon town. [crossfade to a "third-world country version" of Frostbite Falls] Now, it was crippled by years of reruns.