ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory quotes

76 total quotes

Multiple Characters
Oompa Loompas
Sam Beauregarde
Veruca Salt
Willy Wonka




View Quote Willy Wonka: The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
Veruca Salt: Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
[Wonka grabs Veruca's jaw]
Willy Wonka: We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of dreams.
View Quote Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
Grandpa Joe: I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
Willy Wonka: He doesn't.
Grandpa Joe: Why not?
Willy Wonka: Because he broke the rules.
Grandpa Joe: What rules? We didn't see any rules! Did we, Charlie?
Willy Wonka: Wrong, sir! WRONG! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera..."Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,"[the torch of the mind lights the path to glory] et cetera, et cetera..."MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM"!! [I remember the spoiled punisher twice] It's ALL there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!
Grandpa Joe: You're a crook. You're a cheat and a swindler! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! (furiously) YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!
Willy Wonka: I SAID "GOOD DAY!!!"
(he goes on about his work)
View Quote [singing] In spring time, the only pretty ring time. Birds sing, hey ding, A-ding A-ding. Sweet Lovers love...the Spring. [from As You Like It by William Shakespeare.]
View Quote Violet Beauregarde: Well they can't be real people.
Willy Wonka: Well of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt: Stuff and nonsense.
Willy Wonka: No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group: Oompa Loompas?
Willy Wonka: From Loompaland.
Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady...
Mrs. Teevee: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka: Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Veruca Salt: Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt: All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
Veruca Salt: I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Violet Beauregarde: Can it, you nit!
View Quote [softly singing, then shouting, on the famous boat ride] There's no earthly way of knowing which direction we are going. There's no knowing where we're rowing, or which way the river's flowing. Is it raining? is it snowing? is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing, AND THEY'RE CERTAINLY NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!!
View Quote Sam Beauregarde: Come on, Violet. We're getting out of here.
Willy Wonka: Oh, you can't get out backwards. You've got to go forwards to go back, better press on.
View Quote Willy Wonka: [puts his hand on the Evelasting Gobstopper that Charlie has just given up to him, while writing] So shines a good deed in a weary world. [looks up] Charlie? My boy. You've WON! You DID it! You DID it!! Oh, I just KNEW you would, I JUST KNEW YOU WOULD!! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this, please forgive me. Mr. Wilkinson, would you come in here please? [The man originally known as Slugworth walks in.] Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!
Slugworth (now known as Wilkinson): Pleasure.
Charlie: Slugworth...?!
Willy Wonka: No! That's not Slugworth. He works for me!
Charlie: For you?!
Willy Wonka: I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You WON!
Grandpa Joe: Won what?
Willy Wonka: The JACKPOT, my dear sir, the GRAND AND GLORIOUS JACKPOT!
Charlie: The chocolate?
Willy Wonka: The chocolate, the chocolate, yes, but that's just the beginning!! Come, we have so little to do and so much time! Strike that...reverse it.
View Quote Adieu! Adieu! Parting is such sweet sorrow. [From William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene 2. Originally "Good night! Good night! Parting etc."]
View Quote [After Veruca falls down the chute]
Willy Wonka: She was a bad egg.
Mr. Salt: Where's she gone?
Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] Oh, the garbage chute. Where does it lead to?
Willy Wonka: To the furnace.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] The furnace! She'll be sizzled like a sausage.
Willy Wonka: Well, not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] Inside the...
[he starts suddenly in shock and runs]
Mr. Salt: Hold on! Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming!
[jumps down the chute]
Willy Wonka: There's gonna be a lot of garbage today.
Grandpa Joe: Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What's that?
Grandpa Joe: Veruca went first.
View Quote Charlie Bucket: [to Grandpa Joe] You know... I'll bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.
View Quote Mr. Salt: Come along! Come along, you girls! Put a jack in it! Or you'll be out in your ears! Every one of ya! And listen to this! The 1st girl that finds a Golden Ticket gets a £1 bonus in her pay packet! What do you think of that?!
[every worker cheers and gets back to work faster]
Veruca Salt: They're not even trying. They don't want to find it. They're jealous of me.
Mr. Salt: Sweetheart, I can't push them no harder. 19,000 bars an hour they're shelling. 760,000 they've done so far!
Veruca Salt: You promised, Daddy! You promised I'd have it the very first day!
Mrs. Salt: You're going to be very unpopular around her, Henry, if you don't deliver soon.
Mr. Salt: It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy.
Veruca Salt: I won't talk to you ever again. You're a rotten, mean father! You never give me anything I want! And I won't go to school until I have it.
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now, there are four tickets left in the world, and the whole ruddy world's hunting for them!! What can I do?!
View Quote Mr. Turkentine: Charlie Bucket, how many did you open?
Charlie Bucket: Two.
Mr. Turkentine: That's easy. Two hundred is twice one hundred--
Charlie Bucket: Not two-hundred, just two.
Mr. Turkentine: TWO?! What do you mean you only opened two?!
Charlie Bucket: I don't care very much for chocolate.
Mr. Turkentine: WELL I CAN'T FIGURE OUT JUST TWO!! So let's pretend you opened TWO HUNDRED! Now, if you opened two hundred Wonka bars, apart from getting dreadfully sick, you would have used up twenty percent of one thousand, which is fifteen percent half over again, ten percent...
View Quote Veruca Salt: [Wonka has just handed Everlasting Gobstoppers out to all the remaining kids] Hey, she's got two! I want another one!
Violet Beauregarde: Stop squawking, you twit!
Willy Wonka: Everybody has had one and one is enough for anybody. Now come along. Now over here, if you'll follow me, I have something rather special to show you.
Mr. Salt: Well, it's special, all right. I hope my Veruca doesn't want one. [he laughs]
View Quote The Tinker: "Up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen; We dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men." [A quote from William Allingham's poem The Fairies]
View Quote Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, what's gonna happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?
Willy Wonka: My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.
Grandpa Joe: Er...what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: Yes, well...I hope you've enjoyed yourselves, excuse me for not showing you out, you'll find the way, I'm terribly busy. Whole day wasted. Good-bye to you both, Goodbye. [quickly disappears into his office]
Charlie: What happened? Did we do something wrong?
Grandpa Joe: I don't know, Charlie... but I'm gonna find out.