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Multiple Characters quotes

The Tinker: "Up the airy mountain, down the rushy glen; We dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men." [A quote from William Allingham's poem The Fairies]

Charlie Bucket: [to Grandpa Joe] You know... I'll bet those golden tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.

Violet Beauregarde: What is this, a freak out?

Mrs. Teavee: I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka!

Computer Inventor: I am now telling the computer exactly what he can do with a lifetime supply of chocolate!

T.V. Anchorman: Four down and one to go. And somewhere in this world, another person is moving closer and closer to winning the last of the most sought after prizes in history. Though we cannot help but envy him, whoever he is, and we may be tempted to be bitter in our own losing, we must remember that there are plenty more important things in life. Offhand, I can't remember what they are, but I'm sure there must be something.

Mr. Turkentine: That's right, you don't know because only I know. If you knew and I didn't know then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you, and for a student to be teaching his teacher is presumptuous and rude. Do I make my self clear?
Charlie Bucket: Yes, sir!

TV Reporter: Augustus, how does it make you feel to find the Golden Ticket?
Augustus Gloop: Hungry.
TV Reporter: Any other feelings?
Augustus Gloop: Feel sorry for Wonka. It's going to cost him a fortune in fudge.

Veruca Salt: I wanted to be the first to find a Golden Ticket, Daddy.
Mr. Salt: I know, angel. We're doing the best we can. I've got every girl in the bleeding stockroom hunting for you.
Veruca Salt: All right! Where is it?! Why haven't they found it?
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart. I'm not a magician! Give me time!
Veruca Salt: I want it now! What's the matter with those twerps down there!?
Mr. Salt: For 5 days now, the entire flipping factory's been on the job! They haven't shelled a peanut in there since Monday! They've been shelling flaming chocolate bars from dawn to dusk!
Veruca Salt: Make 'em work nights!

Mr. Salt: Come along! Come along, you girls! Put a jack in it! Or you'll be out in your ears! Every one of ya! And listen to this! The 1st girl that finds a Golden Ticket gets a £1 bonus in her pay packet! What do you think of that?!
[every worker cheers and gets back to work faster]
Veruca Salt: They're not even trying. They don't want to find it. They're jealous of me.
Mr. Salt: Sweetheart, I can't push them no harder. 19,000 bars an hour they're shelling. 760,000 they've done so far!
Veruca Salt: You promised, Daddy! You promised I'd have it the very first day!
Mrs. Salt: You're going to be very unpopular around her, Henry, if you don't deliver soon.
Mr. Salt: It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy.
Veruca Salt: I won't talk to you ever again. You're a rotten, mean father! You never give me anything I want! And I won't go to school until I have it.
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now, there are four tickets left in the world, and the whole ruddy world's hunting for them!! What can I do?!

Mr. Turkentine: Charlie Bucket, how many did you open?
Charlie Bucket: Two.
Mr. Turkentine: That's easy. Two hundred is twice one hundred--
Charlie Bucket: Not two-hundred, just two.
Mr. Turkentine: TWO?! What do you mean you only opened two?!
Charlie Bucket: I don't care very much for chocolate.
Mr. Turkentine: WELL I CAN'T FIGURE OUT JUST TWO!! So let's pretend you opened TWO HUNDRED! Now, if you opened two hundred Wonka bars, apart from getting dreadfully sick, you would have used up twenty percent of one thousand, which is fifteen percent half over again, ten percent...

Sam Beauregarde: Come on, Violet. We're getting out of here.
Willy Wonka: Oh, you can't get out backwards. You've got to go forwards to go back, better press on.

Willy Wonka: The strawberries taste like strawberries. The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
Veruca Salt: Snozzberries? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
[Wonka grabs Veruca's jaw]
Willy Wonka: We are the music makers... and we are the dreamers of dreams.

Violet Beauregarde: Well they can't be real people.
Willy Wonka: Well of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt: Stuff and nonsense.
Willy Wonka: No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group: Oompa Loompas?
Willy Wonka: From Loompaland.
Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady...
Mrs. Teevee: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka: Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Veruca Salt: Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt: All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
Veruca Salt: I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Violet Beauregarde: Can it, you nit!

Mr. Salt: What is this Wonka, some kind of fun house?
Willy Wonka: Why? Having fun?

Charlie Bucket: Grandpa, look at Augustus! [pointing to Augustus Gloop leaning over face down, heavily slurping from the chocolate river]
Grandpa Joe: Don't worry, Charlie. He can't drink it all.
Augustus: [slurps, but a few seconds later, he plummets into the chocolate] Aarghh!
Mrs. Gloop: Save him!
Augustus: Help! Help! Fish me out!

Mrs. Gloop: My son! He'll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!
Willy Wonka: Impossible, my dear lady! That's absurd! Unthinkable!
Mrs. Gloop: Why?!
Willy Wonka: Because that pipe doesn't go to the marshmallow room, it goes to the fudge room.
Mrs. Gloop: You terrible man!

Veruca Salt: [Wonka has just handed Everlasting Gobstoppers out to all the remaining kids] Hey, she's got two! I want another one!
Violet Beauregarde: Stop squawking, you twit!
Willy Wonka: Everybody has had one and one is enough for anybody. Now come along. Now over here, if you'll follow me, I have something rather special to show you.
Mr. Salt: Well, it's special, all right. I hope my Veruca doesn't want one. [he laughs]

Willy Wonka: Don't you know what this is?
Violet Beauregarde: By gum, it's gum!
Willy Wonka: Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world.
Violet Beauregarde: What so fab about that?
Willy Wonka: This little piece of gum is a three course dinner.
Mr. Salt: Bull.
Willy Wonka: No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet.

[about Violet]
Charlie Bucket: Grandpa, why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka?
Grandpa Joe: Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit!

Willy Wonka: All aboard, everybody.
Mr. Salt: Ladies first and that means Veruca.
Grandpa Joe: [to Charlie] If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.

Mr. Salt: Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose?
Willy Wonka: They're not for sale.
Mr. Salt: Name your price.
Willy Wonka: She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: Who says I can't?!
Mr. Salt: The man with the funny hat.

[After Veruca falls down the chute]
Willy Wonka: She was a bad egg.
Mr. Salt: Where's she gone?
Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] Oh, the garbage chute. Where does it lead to?
Willy Wonka: To the furnace.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] The furnace! She'll be sizzled like a sausage.
Willy Wonka: Well, not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] Inside the...
[he starts suddenly in shock and runs]
Mr. Salt: Hold on! Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming!
[jumps down the chute]
Willy Wonka: There's gonna be a lot of garbage today.
Grandpa Joe: Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What's that?
Grandpa Joe: Veruca went first.

Charlie Bucket: What was that we just went through?
Willy Wonka: Hsawaknow.
Mrs. Teevee: Is that Japanese?
Willy Wonka: No, that's Wonkawash spelled backwards.

Interviewer: So you like the killing [on television]
Mike Teevee: That's what life's all about! But my dad won't let me have a real gun yet, will you, pop?
Mr. Teevee: Not 'till you're twelve, son.

Willy Wonka: Well, fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So I think we'll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. That should do the trick.
[to an Oompa-Loompa]
Willy Wonka: To the taffy-pulling room. You'll find the boy in his mother's purse. But be extremely careful.
Mrs. Teevee: To the t-t-t... taffy-pulling room? What's he saying?!
[Oompa-Loompa whispers to Wonka]
Willy Wonka: No, no. I won't hold you responsible. [to Mrs. Teevee, who has started babbling incoherently and then fainted] And now, my dearest lady. It's time to say goodbye. No, no, don't speak. For some moments in life there are no words. Run along now.
[The Oompa-Loompas drag her out]

Charlie Bucket: Mr. Wonka, what's gonna happen to the other kids? Augustus, Veruca?
Willy Wonka: My dear boy, I promise you they'll be quite all right. When they leave here, they'll be completely restored to their normal, terrible old selves. But maybe they'll be a little bit wiser for the wear. Anyway, don't worry about them.
Grandpa Joe: Er...what do we do now, Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: Yes, well...I hope you've enjoyed yourselves, excuse me for not showing you out, you'll find the way, I'm terribly busy. Whole day wasted. Good-bye to you both, Goodbye. [quickly disappears into his office]
Charlie: What happened? Did we do something wrong?
Grandpa Joe: I don't know, Charlie... but I'm gonna find out.

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
Grandpa Joe: I just wanted to ask about the chocolate, the lifetime supply of chocolate, for Charlie. When does he get it?
Willy Wonka: He doesn't.
Grandpa Joe: Why not?
Willy Wonka: Because he broke the rules.
Grandpa Joe: What rules? We didn't see any rules! Did we, Charlie?
Willy Wonka: Wrong, sir! WRONG! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void IF - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy! - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera..."Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,"[the torch of the mind lights the path to glory] et cetera, et cetera..."MEMO BIS PUNITOR DELICATUM"!! [I remember the spoiled punisher twice] It's ALL there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! YOU LOSE!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!!
Grandpa Joe: You're a crook. You're a cheat and a swindler! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! (furiously) YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!!
Willy Wonka: I SAID "GOOD DAY!!!"
(he goes on about his work)

Grandpa Joe: Come on, Charlie, let's get out of here. I'll get even with him if it's the last thing I ever do. If Slugworth wants a Gobstopper, he'll get one.

Willy Wonka: [puts his hand on the Evelasting Gobstopper that Charlie has just given up to him, while writing] So shines a good deed in a weary world. [looks up] Charlie? My boy. You've WON! You DID it! You DID it!! Oh, I just KNEW you would, I JUST KNEW YOU WOULD!! Oh, Charlie, forgive me for putting you through this, please forgive me. Mr. Wilkinson, would you come in here please? [The man originally known as Slugworth walks in.] Charlie, meet Mr. Wilkinson!
Slugworth (now known as Wilkinson): Pleasure.
Charlie: Slugworth...?!
Willy Wonka: No! That's not Slugworth. He works for me!
Charlie: For you?!
Willy Wonka: I had to test you, Charlie. And you passed the test! You WON!
Grandpa Joe: Won what?
Willy Wonka: The JACKPOT, my dear sir, the GRAND AND GLORIOUS JACKPOT!
Charlie: The chocolate?
Willy Wonka: The chocolate, the chocolate, yes, but that's just the beginning!! Come, we have so little to do and so much time! Strike that...reverse it.

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