Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory quotes

View Quote Mr. Turkentine: That's right, you don't know because only I know. If you knew and I didn't know then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you, and for a student to be teaching his teacher is presumptuous and rude. Do I make my self clear?
Charlie Bucket: Yes, sir!

View Quote TV Reporter: Augustus, how does it make you feel to find the Golden Ticket?
Augustus Gloop: Hungry.
TV Reporter: Any other feelings?
Augustus Gloop: Feel sorry for Wonka. It's going to cost him a fortune in fudge.

View Quote Veruca Salt: I wanted to be the first to find a Golden Ticket, Daddy.
Mr. Salt: I know, angel. We're doing the best we can. I've got every girl in the bleeding stockroom hunting for you.
Veruca Salt: All right! Where is it?! Why haven't they found it?
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart. I'm not a magician! Give me time!
Veruca Salt: I want it now! What's the matter with those twerps down there!?
Mr. Salt: For 5 days now, the entire flipping factory's been on the job! They haven't shelled a peanut in there since Monday! They've been shelling flaming chocolate bars from dawn to dusk!
Veruca Salt: Make 'em work nights!

View Quote Mr. Salt: Come along! Come along, you girls! Put a jack in it! Or you'll be out in your ears! Every one of ya! And listen to this! The 1st girl that finds a Golden Ticket gets a £1 bonus in her pay packet! What do you think of that?!
[every worker cheers and gets back to work faster]
Veruca Salt: They're not even trying. They don't want to find it. They're jealous of me.
Mr. Salt: Sweetheart, I can't push them no harder. 19,000 bars an hour they're shelling. 760,000 they've done so far!
Veruca Salt: You promised, Daddy! You promised I'd have it the very first day!
Mrs. Salt: You're going to be very unpopular around her, Henry, if you don't deliver soon.
Mr. Salt: It breaks my heart, Henrietta. I hate to see her unhappy.
Veruca Salt: I won't talk to you ever again. You're a rotten, mean father! You never give me anything I want! And I won't go to school until I have it.
Mr. Salt: Veruca, sweetheart, angel. Now, there are four tickets left in the world, and the whole ruddy world's hunting for them!! What can I do?!

View Quote Sam Beauregarde: Come on, Violet. We're getting out of here.
Willy Wonka: Oh, you can't get out backwards. You've got to go forwards to go back, better press on.

View Quote Violet Beauregarde: Well they can't be real people.
Willy Wonka: Well of course they're real people.
Mr. Salt: Stuff and nonsense.
Willy Wonka: No, Oompa Loompas.
The Group: Oompa Loompas?
Willy Wonka: From Loompaland.
Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady...
Mrs. Teevee: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka: Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.
Veruca Salt: Hey, Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away.
Mr. Salt: All right, Veruca, all right. I'll get you one before the day is out.
Veruca Salt: I want an Oompa Loompa now!
Violet Beauregarde: Can it, you nit!

View Quote Charlie Bucket: Grandpa, look at Augustus! [pointing to Augustus Gloop leaning over face down, heavily slurping from the chocolate river]
Grandpa Joe: Don't worry, Charlie. He can't drink it all.
Augustus: [slurps, but a few seconds later, he plummets into the chocolate] Aarghh!
Mrs. Gloop: Save him!
Augustus: Help! Help! Fish me out!

View Quote Mrs. Gloop: My son! He'll be made into marshmallows in five seconds!
Willy Wonka: Impossible, my dear lady! That's absurd! Unthinkable!
Mrs. Gloop: Why?!
Willy Wonka: Because that pipe doesn't go to the marshmallow room, it goes to the fudge room.
Mrs. Gloop: You terrible man!

View Quote Veruca Salt: [Wonka has just handed Everlasting Gobstoppers out to all the remaining kids] Hey, she's got two! I want another one!
Violet Beauregarde: Stop squawking, you twit!
Willy Wonka: Everybody has had one and one is enough for anybody. Now come along. Now over here, if you'll follow me, I have something rather special to show you.
Mr. Salt: Well, it's special, all right. I hope my Veruca doesn't want one. [he laughs]

View Quote Willy Wonka: Don't you know what this is?
Violet Beauregarde: By gum, it's gum!
Willy Wonka: Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world.
Violet Beauregarde: What so fab about that?
Willy Wonka: This little piece of gum is a three course dinner.
Mr. Salt: Bull.
Willy Wonka: No, roast beef. But I haven't got it quite right yet.

View Quote [about Violet]
Charlie Bucket: Grandpa, why doesn't she listen to Mr. Wonka?
Grandpa Joe: Because, Charlie, she's a nitwit!

View Quote Willy Wonka: All aboard, everybody.
Mr. Salt: Ladies first and that means Veruca.
Grandpa Joe: [to Charlie] If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid.

View Quote Mr. Salt: Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose?
Willy Wonka: They're not for sale.
Mr. Salt: Name your price.
Willy Wonka: She can't have one.
Veruca Salt: Who says I can't?!
Mr. Salt: The man with the funny hat.

View Quote [After Veruca falls down the chute]
Willy Wonka: She was a bad egg.
Mr. Salt: Where's she gone?
Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad eggs go: down the garbage chute.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] Oh, the garbage chute. Where does it lead to?
Willy Wonka: To the furnace.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] The furnace! She'll be sizzled like a sausage.
Willy Wonka: Well, not necessarily. She could be stuck just inside the tube.
Mr. Salt: [laughs heartily] Inside the...
[he starts suddenly in shock and runs]
Mr. Salt: Hold on! Veruca! Sweetheart! Daddy's coming!
[jumps down the chute]
Willy Wonka: There's gonna be a lot of garbage today.
Grandpa Joe: Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What's that?
Grandpa Joe: Veruca went first.

View Quote Willy Wonka: Well, fortunately, small boys are extremely springy and elastic. So I think we'll put him in my special taffy-pulling machine. That should do the trick.
[to an Oompa-Loompa]
Willy Wonka: To the taffy-pulling room. You'll find the boy in his mother's purse. But be extremely careful.
Mrs. Teevee: To the t-t-t... taffy-pulling room? What's he saying?!
[Oompa-Loompa whispers to Wonka]
Willy Wonka: No, no. I won't hold you responsible. [to Mrs. Teevee, who has started babbling incoherently and then fainted] And now, my dearest lady. It's time to say goodbye. No, no, don't speak. For some moments in life there are no words. Run along now.
[The Oompa-Loompas drag her out]