Wayne's World quotes
80 total quotesGarth Algar
Mikita's manager, Glen
Wayne Campbell
Wayne & Garth catch-phrases
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(speaking to the camera) I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion it's called murder?
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You know, if you stab a man in the dead of winter, steam will rise up from the wounds. Indians believed it was his soul escaping from his body.
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Garth Algar: Hey, Mister Donut-head Man, who's trying to kill you?
Garth [as Mr. Donut-head Man]: I don't know, but he better not!
Garth [as Mr. Donut-head Man]: I don't know, but he better not!
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Wayne Campbell: All I have to say about that is "ass-sphincter-says-what" (spoken speedily).
Noah Vanderhoff [arcade owner]: What?
Wayne: A sphincter says what?
Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne: Exactly.
Noah Vanderhoff [arcade owner]: What?
Wayne: A sphincter says what?
Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne: Exactly.
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Wayne Campbell: Am I supposed to be a man, am I supposed to say it's okay, I don't mind? I don't mind. Well, I mind! I mind big-time! And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ. (Splashing water on his face to simulate tears)
Cassandra: Is that true?
Wayne Campbell: Yes, everything except the reading part.
Cassandra: Is that true?
Wayne Campbell: Yes, everything except the reading part.
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Tiny: Wayne. How you doin'?
Wayne: Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?
Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beatles.
Wayne: Shitty Beatles? Are they any good?
Tiny: They suck.
Wayne: Then it's not just a clever name.
Wayne: Hey, Tiny, who's playing today?
Tiny: Jolly Green Giants and the Shitty Beatles.
Wayne: Shitty Beatles? Are they any good?
Tiny: They suck.
Wayne: Then it's not just a clever name.
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Stacy: Happy anniversary, Wayne.
Wayne: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out.
Wayne: Well, it does, actually. That's what breaking up is.
...
Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
Wayne: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset.
Stacy: Open it.
Wayne: What is it?
Stacy: It's a gun rack.
Wayne: A gun rack... a gun rack. Shyeah, Right! I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.
Wayne: I lost you two months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!
Wayne: Stacy, we broke up two months ago.
Stacy: Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out.
Wayne: Well, it does, actually. That's what breaking up is.
...
Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present?
Wayne: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset.
Stacy: Open it.
Wayne: What is it?
Stacy: It's a gun rack.
Wayne: A gun rack... a gun rack. Shyeah, Right! I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me.
Wayne: I lost you two months ago. We broke up. Are you mental? Get the net!
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Wayne Campbell: So, do you... come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century.
Pete: Hey, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact , it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.
Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century.
Pete: Hey, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact , it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."
Wayne Campbell: I was not aware of that.
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[Wayne and Garth discuss Claudia Schiffer.]
Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babe-a-licious.
Wayne: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.
...
Garth: Hey, are you done yet? I'm getting tired of holding this. (referring to Claudia's picture)
Wayne: Yeah, that's what she said.
Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babe-a-licious.
Wayne: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.
...
Garth: Hey, are you done yet? I'm getting tired of holding this. (referring to Claudia's picture)
Wayne: Yeah, that's what she said.
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Benjamin Caine: First, let me get this out of the way: I'm a big fan.
Garth Algar: You are?
Benjamin: The way I see it, your show is capable of so much more.
Garth: Well, we'll try harder, okay? Just give us a second chance. Just don't go and cancel us without giving us a second chance.
Garth Algar: You are?
Benjamin: The way I see it, your show is capable of so much more.
Garth: Well, we'll try harder, okay? Just give us a second chance. Just don't go and cancel us without giving us a second chance.
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Benjamin Kane: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes. Ahm... no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office — that's what I did — and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his fat head and I said "Listen, man. I'm not going to jail for YOU or for anybody!
Wayne Campbell: Yes. Ahm... no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office — that's what I did — and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his fat head and I said "Listen, man. I'm not going to jail for YOU or for anybody!
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Terry: Wayne. Wayne. Garth told me about the show, man. I love you, man.
Wayne Campbell: Yeah, and I love you too, Terry.
Terry: No-no-no, I mean it, man. I LOVE you.
Wayne: No, I-I mean it. I love you.
Terry: No you don't, man. I love you.
Wayne: (being hugged by Terry) Garth. Hey, come over here, I think Terry has something he wants to say to you.
Terry: I love you, man.
Garth Algar (casually): Thank you. (continues dancing)
Wayne Campbell: Yeah, and I love you too, Terry.
Terry: No-no-no, I mean it, man. I LOVE you.
Wayne: No, I-I mean it. I love you.
Terry: No you don't, man. I love you.
Wayne: (being hugged by Terry) Garth. Hey, come over here, I think Terry has something he wants to say to you.
Terry: I love you, man.
Garth Algar (casually): Thank you. (continues dancing)