Trading Places

Trading Places quotes

37 total quotes (ID: 914)

Billy Ray Valentine
Louis Winthorp III

[after demonstrating some fake karate moves while in jail] That's called the "quart of blood" technique. You do that, a quart of blood will drop out of a man's body.

Officer Reynolds: [to Louis] Strip, you little shit, before I tear you a new asshole!

Even Bigger Black Guy: It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.

Beeks: Hey. Back off! I'll rip out your eyes and piss on your brain.

Randolph Duke: Ezra. Right on time. I'll bet you thought I'd forgotten your Christmas bonus. There you are.
Ezra: Five dollars. Maybe I'll go to the movies... by myself.
Mortimer Duke: Half of it is from me.
Ezra: Thank you, Mr. Mortimer. [mouthing silently] Asshole.

[watching cops subduing an unruly suspect] May I suggest using your night stick officer?

Harvey: Monkey? MONKEY! I'm a ****ing gorilla, you clown!

Louis: Randolph. Mortimer.
Mortimer Duke: Winthorpe, my boy, what have you got for us?
Louis: Well, it's that time of the month again. Payroll checks for our employees, which require your signatures. And no forgetting to sign the big ones!
Mortimer Duke: We seem to be paying some of our employees an awful lot of money.
Louis: [laughs] Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.

Billy Ray: What if I can't do this job, Coleman? What if I'm not what they expected?
Coleman: Just be yourself, sir. Whatever happens, they can't take that away from you.

When I was growing up, if we wanted a Jacuzzi, we had to fart in the tub.

Billy Ray: Merry New Year!
Beeks: That's "happy." In this country we say "Happy New Year."
Billy Ray: Oh, ho, ho, thank you for correcting my English which stinks!

Ophelia: [noticing Louis watch her undress] By the way, food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money. You sleep on the couch.

Bunny: And she stepped on the ball.

Mortimer Duke: This an outrage! I demand a full investigation!

Louis: [after giving the secret knock] Who is it?
Billy Ray: Open the door, man!