Most scenes together: David St. Hubbins & Nigel Tufnel (4), Nigel Tufnel & Marty DiBergi (3), David St. Hubbins & Derek Smalls (3)
This is Spinal Tap quotes
Page 1 of 4: It's like a black mirror... you can see yourself... in both sides.
Although the band arguably had 32 drummers during its history, these are the six that are mentioned by name:
John "Stumpy" Pepys (1943-1969) Cause of death: Gardening accident.
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The last time Tap toured America, they where, uh, booked into 10,000 seat arenas, and 15,000 seat venues, and it seems that now, on their current tour they're being booked into 1,200 seat arenas, 1,500 seat arenas, and uh I was just wondering, does this mean uh...the popularity of the group is waning?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no...no, no, not at all. I, I, I just think that the.. uh.. their appeal is becoming more selective.
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They said the album cover is a bit sexist.
Well, so what? What's wrong with being sexy?
Sexist, Nigel.
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I don't hear anything.
Well you would though, if it were playing.
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Yeah, I like it. I've been fooling around with it for a few months now. Very delicate.
It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
Yeah, well, it's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy that I'm doing in D [pause] minor, which, I always find is really the saddest of all keys, really, I don't know why; it makes people weep instantly to play (Nigel plays, and sings)
It's a horn part.
It's very pretty.
You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
What do you call this?
Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".
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Why don't you make ten a little louder, make that the top number and make that a little louder?
These go to eleven.
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Airport Security Officer: Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
Er, not really.
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Bobbi Flekman Ian, you put a greased naked woman on all fours, with a dog collar around her neck and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here holding the leash, and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it - you don't find that offensive? You don't find that sexist?
No, I don't! This is 1982, for God's sake...
Bobbi Flekman That's right it's 1982. Get out of the Sixties. We don't have this mentality any more.
Well you should have seen the cover they wanted to do. It wasn't a glove, believe me.
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I mean, people should be envying us, you know.
I envy us.
Yeah.
I do.
Me too.
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Can I raise a practical question at this point?
What?
Are we going to do "Stonehenge" tomorrow?
No, we're not gonna ****in' do "Stonehenge"!!!
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David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a St. Hubbins?
That's right, yes.
What was he the saint of?
He was the patron saint of quality footwear.
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I think you guys are making too big a thing of this.
Making a big thing of it would have been a good idea.
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Nigel gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told.
But you're not as confused as him, are you? I mean, it's not your job to be as confused as Nigel.
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We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but -
We don't literally say it.
No, we don't say it.
We don't really, literally mean it.
No, we don't believe it either, but -
But we're not racists.
But that message should be clear.
Big bottom, big bottom, talk about bum-cakes ... my girl's got 'em. Big bottom drive me out of my mind, how can I leave this ... behind?
Working on a sex farm, trying to raise some hard love. Getting out my pitch fork, poking your hay.
You're sweet but you're just four feet, and you still got your baby teeth. You're too young and I'm too well hung, Tonight I'm gonna rock you, Tonight I'm gonna rock you, Tonight!
I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.
Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.
It's such a fine line between stupid, and uh...
Clever.
Yeah, and clever.
Do you feel that playing rock 'n' roll music keeps you a child? That is, keeps you in a state of arrested development?
No. No. No. I feel it's like, it's more like going, going to a, a national park or something. And there's, you know, they preserve the moose. And that's, that's my childhood up there on stage. That moose, you know.
So when you're playing you feel like a preserved moose on stage?
Yeah.
Do you have any sort of creed or philosophy that you live by?
Mick Shrimpton I used to say "sex, drugs, and rock and roll." As long as there's sex and drugs, I can do without rock and roll.
Do you have any sort of creed or philosophy that you live by?
Have... a good... time... all the time. That's my philosophy, Marty.
Hello. My name is Marty DiBergi. I'm a film-maker. I make a lot of commercials. That little dog that chases the covered wagon underneath the sink? That was mine.
Artie Fufkin Do me a favor. Just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that's all. Kick my ass. Enjoy. Come on. I'm not asking, I'm telling with this. Kick my ass.
It's a kick isn't it? Well, I used to be an actor but I could never remember my lines, so I thought 'just shut up,' you know? Don't say nothing.
Have... a... good... time... all the time.
Quite exciting, this computer magic.
Mick Shrimpton I used to say "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" ...As long as there's sex and drugs, I can do without rock and roll.
Let's talk about your reviews a little bit. Regarding Intravenous Di Milo: "This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth rate of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of **** sexuality and bad poetry."
That's...that's just nitpicking, isn't it?
The numbers all go to 11. Look, right across the board, 11, 11, 11 and...
Oh, I see. And most amps go up to 10?
Exactly.
Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not 10. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at 10. You're on 10 here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on 10 on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
I don't know.
Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Put it up to 11.
11. Exactly. One louder.
Why don't you make 10 a little louder, make that the top number and make that a little louder?
This pretentious, ponderous group of rock psalms prompts the question "On what day did God create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?"
Shark Sandwich
The review you had on Shark Sandwich which was merely a two word review. Just said "Shit Sandwich."
Where did they print that?
That's not real, is it?
Too much. There's too much **** perspective now.