[staring at a drying sports bra]
Spanky: Dudes...that thing has touched boobs.
Terrence Lubinecki: Of course... The sturdy, breathable fabric is designed to maintain mammary elasticity.
Spanky: Shut up, Terrence. You're ruining the moment for me.

[Waiting for Sydney to come down for her first date with Tyler]
Terrence: Three-quarters of first dates end in disappointment for one or both parties, studies show. I hope you beat the odds.
Tyler: Me too.
Gurkin: If you try any funny stuff I will unleash the power of the internet on you. I will register you as a sex offender in all 50 states, and Canada.
Tyler: Wow.
George: Yeah! And I'll kick your ass.

AHHH! We're gonna be sisters!!

And I think I'm in love with a dork!

As long as he doesn't try to hump my bunny slippers.

Don't worry... I'll remember to smile for my mug shot.

Eyes brows meet tweezers, tweezers meet your worst nightmare.

I thought I was going to marry a Backstreet Boy.

I tried to eat a plastic flower before... It kinda hurt.

I'm sorry, I'm still learning to speak priss.

If only there was a place where a superficial, materialistic bitch could fit in... Oh, wait. There is.

It is so hard to find a decent gluten free soy patty.

It's a disease... one without a cure.

Just to be clear, I spend a normal amount of time in the bathroom.

Kappas could use a girl like you.