Professor Carleton quotes

[staring at a drying sports bra]
Spanky: Dudes...that thing has touched boobs.
Terrence Lubinecki: Of course... The sturdy, breathable fabric is designed to maintain mammary elasticity.
Spanky: Shut up, Terrence. You're ruining the moment for me.

[Waiting for Sydney to come down for her first date with Tyler]
Terrence: Three-quarters of first dates end in disappointment for one or both parties, studies show. I hope you beat the odds.
Tyler: Me too.
Gurkin: If you try any funny stuff I will unleash the power of the internet on you. I will register you as a sex offender in all 50 states, and Canada.
Tyler: Wow.
George: Yeah! And I'll kick your ass.

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