Swingers quotes

82 total quotes

Answering Machine
Mike Peters
Rob
Sue
Trent Walker

View Quote Nicole: You came in and asked me for an application, and I took you and introduced you to my manager.
Mike: Must have been a while ago, 'cause I- right now I have a booking agent.

View Quote They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, do you dig that?

View Quote We saw them at Roscoe's that night. It's totally fine. Trent cleared it up. I apologized; bought them some chicken waffles. It's totally fine.

View Quote Daddy's gonna get her to bring a friend.

View Quote Alright, fine, 'll ask her. Ma'am, where do all the high school girls hang out around here?

View Quote Trent: Baby, that was money! Tell me that wasn't money.
Mike: That was so demeaning.
Trent: She smiled, baby.
Mike: I can't believe what an asshole you are.
Trent: Did she, or did she not smile.
Mike: She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
Trent: She was smiling at how money I am, baby.

View Quote You have to put things in perspective.

View Quote They went with someone who had more theme park experience. 'd kill for that job.

View Quote All I do is stare at their mouths and wrinkle my nose, and I turn out to be a sweetheart.

View Quote You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.

View Quote I'm the asshole? I'm the asshole in the place yeah? Yeah, well I'm outta here. I would never eat here, I would never eat here anyway.

View Quote Don't worry about it, man. It's like, now I have my LA gun story. You should hear the way I tell it to the guys back home: it's an Uzi.

View Quote Okay, already, 'll put my suit on. Grab the wheel. Hold it steady.

View Quote How about if I wait six weeks? Tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and just happened to run into her number, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we ****ed. T, would that be the money?

View Quote Mike: You're gonna screw up our plan.
Trent: Baby, we're gonna get laid.
Mike: T-. Trent. Trent. I need to, ah-
[Trent hands him a condom through the door]
Mike: No, I...uh...need to use the phone.
Trent: Hold on. [Slams door]
Mike: 'm sure - they weren't in there that long.