Swingers quotes

View Quote Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!

View Quote Mike: Count'em up.
Rob: How many strokes? What'd you get?
Mike: Eight or a nine.
Rob: 'll give you an eight.
Mike: What'd you get?
Rob: I got an eight.
Mike: Dead heat after one hole. This is turning into quite a rivalry.

View Quote Mike: [at a crowded bar] We're gonna go to a party in the Hills, you wanna go?
Charles: Yeah...this place is dead anyway.

View Quote Like a Las Vegas waitress is going to get an obscure French philosophical reference. It's like 'm trying to show off to her. I may as well have said 'let me jump your ignorant bones'.

View Quote There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you're money and that you want to party.

View Quote 've been here for six months; all 've got to show for it is black lung.

View Quote [Mike, Trent, and Sue are hanging out and Trent and Sue are playing video hockey]
Sue: This is bullshit, such bullshit!
Mike: The Kings suck in this game you should play another team.
Sue: I took the Kings to the cup.
Trent: Yea, against the computer with the offsides off.
Sue: They are a finesse team.
Trent: LA is a ****ing bitch team. OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!
[Trent bodychecks one of Sue's players]
Sue: BITCH!

View Quote Rob: [bemoaning his audition for role of Goofy at Disney Land] Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
Mike: What do you want? You're tall. At least it's Disney.

View Quote Answering Machine: There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Mike: Great. That's great advice. Thanks a lot, okay. Bye.
Answering Machine: Life, after all...
Mike: Please, y- 'm tryin' to make a phone call.
Answering Machine: Are you calling her?
Mike: No, would you stop. 'm- please.

View Quote This is Trent; we call him 'Double Down'.

View Quote There she is, the wonderful lady. Personality plus! Nothing but smiles for me whenever I come in here.

View Quote 'm not even hungry; I couldn't touch it. [Hands plate to guy at next table]

View Quote Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's looking around the room to see if there's somebody else who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack, you know?

View Quote Mike: Hi, how are you ladies doing this evening?
Girl at the Party: What do you drive?

View Quote I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know. The guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.