Swingers quotes

82 total quotes (ID: 719)

Answering Machine
Mike Peters
Trent Walker

Mike: You know what, 've got it under control.
Trent: He has it under control.
Sue: I guess we don't have to worry about him any more.
Trent: Our little baby's all grown up.

Trent: Back in the day this place was a real contender, but now they'll appreciate the business. Probably fall all over themselves for a couple of high class guys like me and you. You want to be fresh on the scene, right?
Mike: Yeah I know, but......
Trent: Aw, Mike. You don't want all that ****in' Pirates-of-the-Caribbean horseshit or the rock-n-roll grunge tip. Guys like you and me gotta kick it here, old school.

Like a Las Vegas waitress is going to get an obscure French philosophical reference. It's like 'm trying to show off to her. I may as well have said 'let me jump your ignorant bones'.

Mike: Count'em up.
Rob: How many strokes? What'd you get?
Mike: Eight or a nine.
Rob: 'll give you an eight.
Mike: What'd you get?
Rob: I got an eight.
Mike: Dead heat after one hole. This is turning into quite a rivalry.

Rob: [bemoaning his audition for role of Goofy at Disney Land] Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
Mike: What do you want? You're tall. At least it's Disney.

Answering Machine: There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Mike: Great. That's great advice. Thanks a lot, okay. Bye.
Answering Machine: Life, after all...
Mike: Please, y- 'm tryin' to make a phone call.
Answering Machine: Are you calling her?
Mike: No, would you stop. 'm- please.

I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know. The guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.

've been here for six months; all 've got to show for it is black lung.

[Mike, Trent, and Sue are hanging out and Trent and Sue are playing video hockey]
Sue: This is bullshit, such bullshit!
Mike: The Kings suck in this game you should play another team.
Sue: I took the Kings to the cup.
Trent: Yea, against the computer with the offsides off.
Sue: They are a finesse team.
Trent: LA is a ****ing bitch team. OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!
[Trent bodychecks one of Sue's players]

I don't know what it was, it was...a...drugs are bad, Jenny eat something, whatever. It's an After School special.

Mike: Hi, how are you ladies doing this evening?
Girl at the Party: What do you drive?

Well, we're not in Kansas anymore.

There she is, the wonderful lady. Personality plus! Nothing but smiles for me whenever I come in here.

'm not even hungry; I couldn't touch it. [Hands plate to guy at next table]

Trent: Look, you take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream, of course its going to end up on the friendship tip.
Mike: I just don't think she liked me.
Trent: Baby you are so money and don't even know it.