Snatch quotes

View Quote Bullet Tooth Tony: You. Want a knife?
Avi: Me? No, not me. I wouldn't know what to do.
Bullet Tooth Tony: It's a knife, for God's sake. What's you used to keep you fork company for all these years? The sharp side, the blunt side. What do you want, a lesson?

View Quote Errol: ****face, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?
Turkish: ****face... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm climbing off yer mum.

View Quote Female Bookie: All bets are off.
Sol: I'm not in here to make a ****ing bet.
Female Bookie: 'Preciated, but all... bets... are... off. If all bets are off, then there can't be any money can't there?
Sol: I ain't ****ing buying that.
Female Bookie: Well that's handy, 'cause I ain't ****ing selling it. It's a fact.

View Quote Franky Four Fingers: I have stones to sell, fat to chew, and many different men to see about many different dogs, so if I am not rushing you...
Doug the Head: Slow down, Franky, my son. When in Rome...
Franky Four Fingers: I am not in Rome, Doug. I am in a rush.

View Quote Gorgeous George: Get back down or you will not be coming up next time.
[watches as Mickey warms up]
Gorgeous George: Oh, bollocks to you. This is sick. I'm out of here.
Mickey: You're not going anywhere, you thick lump.
[Pulls off his shirt]
Mickey: You stay until the job's done.
[Mickey kisses his good luck charm. George throws a punch. Mickey dodges, knocks out George with a clean punch to the jaw]
Turkish: [narrating] It turned out that the sweet-talking, tattoo-sporting pikey was a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion. Which makes him harder than a coffin nail. Right now that's the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes Tommy knows he'll be buried with him. Why would the gypsies go through the trouble explaining why a man died in their campsite? Not when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp. It's not like they got social security numbers, is it? Tommy, 'The Tit', is praying. And if he isn't... he ****ing should be.

View Quote Gorgeous George: It's a campsite. A Pikey campsite.
Tommy: Ten points.
Gorgeous George: What're we doin' here?
Tommy: Buying a caravan.
Gorgeous George: Off a pack of ****in' pikeys?! What's wrong with you! This will get messy!
Tommy: Not if you're here.
Gorgeous George: Oh, you bastard! I ****in' hate pikeys!

View Quote Mickey: Good dags. D'ya like dags?
Tommy: Dags?
Mickey: Dags. Ya like dags?
Mrs. O'Neil: Yeah, dags.
Tommy: Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

View Quote Mickey: I'll tell ya what. I'll do it for a caravan.
Turkish: For what?
Pikeys: For a caravan.
Tommy: It was us who wanted a caravan.
[looking around]
Tommy: Anyway, what's wrong with this one?
Mickey: It's not for me. It's for me ma.
Turkish: Your what?
Pikeys: His ma.

View Quote Pikey kid: Thats a flash car, mister!
Tommy: No as flash as your bike though, is it?
Pikey kid: Who're you looking for?
Tommy: Mr O'neill.
Pikey kid: Do you want me to go and get him?
Tommy: That's a good lad.
[The kid still hasn't left]
Tommy: Are you gonna get him for me?
Pikey kid: Yeah.
Tommy: What are you waiting for?
Pikey kid: The five quid you gonna pay me.
Tommy: Well **** off. I'll find him meself.
Pikey kid: Two-fifty!
Tommy: You can have a quid.
Pikey kid: Well you're a real tight ****er, arentcha?

View Quote Sol: He's a natural, ain't you Tyrone?
Tyrone: 'Course I am...
[reverses into parked van]
Vinny: A natural ****ing idiot.

View Quote Sol: No, it's a moissanite.
Bad Boy Lincoln: A what-a-nite?
Sol: A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, mate. Spurious. Not genuine. And it's worth... **** all.

View Quote Sol: What the **** is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
Sol: It's a ****ing anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.
Vinny: So, I wanna raise some pulses don't I?
Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

View Quote Tommy: What's coursing?
Turkish: Hare coursing. They set two lurchers - they're dogs, before you ask. On a hare. And the hare has to outrun the dogs.
Tommy: So, what if it doesn't?
Turkish: Well the big rabbit gets ****ed, doesn't it.
Tommy:[pauses and thinks]Proper ****ed?
Turkish: Yeah, Tommy. Before "Zee Germans" get there.
[Later, to Mickey]

View Quote Tommy: Who took the jam outta your doughnut?
Turkish: You took the ****ing jam outta my doughnut, Tommy. You did.

View Quote Tommy: You said get a good deal.
Turkish: I fail to recognise the correlation between losing 10 grand, hospitalising Gorgeous, and a good deal. How are we gonna explain this to Brick Top? That his fight isn't gonna happen?
Tommy: We replace the fighter.
Turkish: Oh, and hope he doesn't notice? And who the **** are we gonna replace him with?
Tommy: What about John The Gun? Or, Mad Fist Willy?
Turkish: You're not exactly Mr Current Affairs, are you, Tommy? Mad Fist went mad, [a quick, split second shot of Mad Fist Willy going mad]and The Gun, shot himself [quick, split second shot of John The Gun shooting himself in the head]