[Homer decides that he doesn't want to save Springfield from being destroyed.]
Homer: I'm happy here. Screw Springfield!
Marge: [gasps] I can't believe you'd say something so selfish!
Homer: Marge, those people chased us with pitchforks and torches. Torches! At four in the afternoon!
Marge: It was seven at night.
Homer: It was during Access Hollywood!
Marge: Which is on at four and seven.
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: Dad, how could you turn your back on everyone who loved us?!
Bart: Flanders helped us when we were in trouble!
Homer: Who cares what Flanders thinks? He's not your father!
Bart: I wish he was!
Homer: [scoffs] You don't mean that. You practically worship me.
Bart: Oh yeah? Look what I did to your picture! [Picture shows Homer with marker written on it to make him look like Flanders]
Homer: AAAH!
Bart: Look at it, Homer! [holds it up to Homer's face] How-dilly-doodily! How-dilly-doodlily! How--
Homer: WHY, YOU LITTLE--!! [strangles him] I'll strangle-angle you!
Bart: [strangled] Diddily! Diddily!
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