[The Simpsons are watching TV when a commercial comes on. It features a father, a teenage girl, and a little boy.]
TV Announcer [offscreen]: Are you tired of the same old Grand Canyon?
Father [bored]: Well, here we are, kids. The Grand Canyon.
Girl [annoyed]: It's so old and boring! I want a new one. NOW!!
Tom Hanks: Hello. I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility, so it's borrowing some of mine.
Boy: Tousle my hair, Mr. Hanks!
Tom Hanks: Sure thing, son. [ruffles the boys hair with a touch of magic and chuckles] Now I am pleased to tell you about the new Grand Canyon. Coming this weekend, it's east of Shelbyville and south of Capital City!
Marge: That's where Springfield is!!
Tom Hanks: It's nowhere near anything is or ever was. This is Tom Hanks saying if you're going to pick a government to trust, why not this one?
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