Shrek quotes

44 total quotes (ID: 535)


Donkey: Whoa! Look at that! Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That would be my home.
Donkey: Oh, and it is LOVELY! Just BEAUTIFUL! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget! [looks at boulder] I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.

Old Lady: No no no! He talks!...He does! (Moves Donkey's lips) I can talk! I love to talk! I'm the talkingest dang thing you ever saw!
Captain: Get her out of my sight!

Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh it's me... in this body.
Donkey: Shrek?! Oh my word! YOU ATE THE PRINCESS!

(after Shrek roars, trying to scare him off) Wow! That was REALLY scary, and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, cause yo' breath STINKS!

Donkey: This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories and in the morning, I'm making WAFFLES. [pause] Umm, where do I sleep?

(to Donkey) I already told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me! I live alone! MY swamp! ME! Nobody else, nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, TALKING DONKEYS!!!

Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.

Fiona: You didn't slay the dragon?!
Shrek: It's on my to-do list. Now come on!
Fiona: But this isn't right! You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying... That's what all the other knights did!
Shrek: [glances at a scorched skeleton] Yeah, right before they burst into flame!

Donkey: So, you gotta go to this abandoned castle, get past a dragon and rescue a princess so Farquaad gives you back your swamp, which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that right?
Shrek: You know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.

Fiona: But how will you kiss me?
Shrek: What? That wasn't in the job description!
Donkey: Maybe it's a perk!

Donkey: Hi, princess!
Fiona: It TALKS!
Shrek: Yeah, but it's getting him to SHUT UP that's the trick!

Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!

Lord Farquaad: [upon seeing Shrek] What is that? Urgh, it's hideous!
Shrek: Well that's not very nice. [looks at Donkey] It's just a donkey.

[Fiona is trying to hide indoors before nightfall.]
Donkey: Wait a minute, now I see what's going on here. [slight pause] You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
Fiona: Why... yes! Yes, that's it, I'm terrified!
Donkey: Don't worry, princess, I used to be afraid of the dark too. But that was until-- No, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.

Princess Fiona: I have to be rescued by my true love. Not by some ogre, and... and his pet!
Donkey: Well, so much for "noble steed"!