Shrek quotes

View Quote (encountering ogre hunters) ROOOOAAAR!!! [the hunters scream in terror; Shrek lowers his voice to a whisper] This is the part where you run away.

View Quote That's right fool! Now I'm a FLYING talking donkey! You mighta seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY FLY!

View Quote (after Shrek roars, trying to scare him off) Wow! That was REALLY scary, and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, cause yo' breath STINKS!

View Quote ...and then I ate some rotten berries. Man, I had some strong gases eatin' outta my butt that day!

View Quote Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!

View Quote When I get outta here, I'm gonna need some serious therapy! Look at my eye twitching!

View Quote Princess, you're not that ugly. Well, all right, you are ugly; I ain't gonna lie to you. But you're only like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7!

View Quote Shrek: (to Donkey) WHY... are you following me?
Donkey: Oh, I'll tell you why. (singing) Cos I'm all alone; there's no one here beside me! My problems have all come; there's no one to deride meeeeee! Butcha gotta have FRIENDS--
Shrek: STOP! SINGING! Well it's no wonder you don't have any friends!
Donkey: Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest.

View Quote Puppets at the Information Center: [Singing] Welcome to DuLoc, such a perfect town
Here we have some rules, let us lay them down
Don't make waves, stay in line
And we'll get along fine
DuLoc is a perfect place
Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your... face!
DuLoc is, DuLoc is, DuLoc is a perfect... place! [camera flash]
Donkey: Let's do that again!!

View Quote Donkey: [eyeing the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home] I guess you don't, uh... entertain much, do you?
Shrek: I like my privacy.
Donkey: Y'know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know...
[big awkward silence ensues]
Donkey: ... Can I stay with you?
Shrek: What?
Donkey: Can I stay with you... please?
Shrek: [sarcastically friendly] Of course!
Donkey: Really?
Shrek: No.
Donkey: PLEASE, I don't wanna go back there, you don't know what it's like to be considered a freak! [slight pause] Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay!

View Quote [Shrek and Donkey finally reach the terrifying castle where Fiona is imprisoned]
Donkey: [nervous] Er, Shrek, you know when you said that ogres have layers?
Shrek: Oh, aye?
Donkey: Well, donkeys don't have no layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves.
Shrek: Wait a second, donkeys don't have sleeves!
Donkey: You know what I mean.
Shrek: You can't tell me you're afraid of heights?
Donkey: No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of LAVA!

View Quote Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?
Shrek: In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her.
Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.

View Quote Donkey: Hi, princess!
Fiona: It TALKS!
Shrek: Yeah, but it's getting him to SHUT UP that's the trick!

View Quote Fiona: But how will you kiss me?
Shrek: What? That wasn't in the job description!
Donkey: Maybe it's a perk!

View Quote Lord Farquaad: Run, run, run, as you fast as you can; you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!
Gingy: You're a monster.
Lord Farquaad: I'm not the monster here, you are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me! Where are the others?
Gingy: Eat me! [spits]
Lord Farquaad: [grunts] I've tried to be fair with you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! TELL ME, OR I'LL ---
Gingy: No, not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Lord Farquaad: All right, then, who's hiding them?!
Gingy: Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingy: The muffin man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the muffin man. W-Who lives down Drury Lane?
Gingy: Well, she's married to the muffin man...
Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingy: The muffin man!
Lord Farquaad: She's married to the muffin man...