Shrek quotes

View Quote Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh it's me... in this body.
Donkey: Shrek?! Oh my word! YOU ATE THE PRINCESS!

View Quote Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example? Okay, er... ogres... are... like onions.
Donkey: [sniffs onion] They stink?
Shrek: Yes...NO!
Donkey: Or they make you cry.
Shrek: No!
Donkey: Oh, you leave them out in the sun and they turn brown and start sproutin' little white hairs.
Shrek: NO! LAYERS! Onions have layers. OGRES have layers. Onions have layers... you get it. We both have layers.
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. [pause] You know, not everybody likes onions. [pause] CAKES! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers!
Shrek: [restraining temper] I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres. Are not. Like cakes!
Donkey: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Heck no, I don't like no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.
Shrek: NOOO!!! YOU DENSE, IRRITATING, MINIATURE BEAST OF BURDEN! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye bye! [whispers] See you later!
[pause]
Donkey: Parfaits may probably be the most delicious thing on the whole dang planet!
Shrek: You know... I think I preferred you humming...

View Quote Donkey: You love this woman, don't ya?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: You wanna HOLD her?
Shrek: Yes!
Donkey: PLEASE her?!
Shrek: YES!
Donkey: [singing] Then ya gotta, gotta try a little tenderness! Chicks LOVE that romantic crap!

View Quote (to Fiona, as he goes to rescue Donkey from the dragon) Well, I have to save my ass.

View Quote I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET A LITTLE PRIVACY?!!

View Quote (to Donkey) I already told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me! I live alone! MY swamp! ME! Nobody else, nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, TALKING DONKEYS!!!

View Quote (upon seeing the castle where Fiona is held prisoner) Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location!

View Quote (seeing Lord Farquaad's enormous castle) Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?

View Quote You hear that? She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed!

View Quote Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns... this would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind!

View Quote No one likes a kiss-ass.

View Quote You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings!

View Quote Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! (looks down at his hooves) I DON'T HAVE ANY TOES! (sadly) I think I need a hug...

View Quote Nobody move! I have a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it!

View Quote I'M A DONKEY ON EDGE!