She-Devil quotes

38 total quotes

Bob Patchett
Mary Fisher
Olivia Honey
Others
Ruth Patchett/Vesta Rose

View Quote [writing] He held her body as he had for a millennium with an ease neither of them had ever, ever known. He reached for her [pauses trying to think of an appropriate word] ...nub. [she backspaces "nub" and tries again] Love... button!

View Quote Men go crazy when I tell them my name. It's Olivia Honey. They think it's so cute. But it is, isn't it?

View Quote It's like you give men what they want and they don't want it anymore.

View Quote Bob's mother: Is it that time of the month?

View Quote Mrs. Trumper: Nurse Hooper may be short, but she's very devoted.

View Quote Ute: Fuzzy has just shit all over the carpet!

View Quote Garcia: I may be the butler, but I'm not the maid!

View Quote Mrs. Trumper: AHHHH! Hooper! Vesta! This is long-term leakage!

View Quote Ute: I took this job because I only had to cook and clean for one person and one dog. Then I get the mother, the lover, his kids, their dog! Ms. Fisher, up with this bullshit I will not put! I quit!

View Quote Mary Fisher: What is it, exactly, that you do, Mr. Patchett?
Bob Patchett: I'm a financial consultant.
Mary Fisher: Really?! I'm absolutely in awe of men who know how to handle money. I can't even balance my own checkbook.
Bob Patchett: Doesn't your accountant do that for you?
Mary Fisher: Should he?
Bob Patchett: The good ones do.

View Quote Bob Patchett: [in awe of Fisher's home] My God, this is fantastic.
Mary Fisher: You should see my electric bill.
Bob Patchett: I'd love to!

View Quote [Ruth comes into the bathroom where Bob is showering]
Bob Patchett: [startled] Ruth! What the hell are you doing?! Oh, please, don't start now. My folks will be here soon.
Ruth Patchett: I'm not starting anything, I just wanted to weigh myself.
Bob Patchett: Yeah, no wonder you're upset.

View Quote [Ruth comes into the dining room with soup. She takes the lid off of the dish, exposing Andy's pet gerbil, Herbie, lying dead in the meal]
Bob Patchett: Oh my God!
Andy Patchett: Herbie!
Nicolette Patchett: I'm gonna barf!
Bob Patchett: Ruth, what the hell is wrong with you?!
Ruth Patchett: I'll go get a strainer.

View Quote Bob Patchett: Ruth, where are you going?!
Ruth Patchett: I don't know, Bob. Into my future, I guess.

View Quote Mrs. Trumper: Let me stress one thing above all else. You must report any damp or smelly beds immediately.
Ruth/Vesta Rose: Do you mean...
Mrs. Trumper: INCONTINENCE! Bedwetters have no place in the Golden Twilight home!