Semi-Pro quotes

25 total quotes (ID: 526)

Jackie Moon
Multiple Characters

Lou Redwood: ...Did you just call me a jive turkey?

In the anals of history, people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.


Monix: Vakidis, open the window, will ya?
Vakidis: Yes, right on! (does nothing)
Monix: Vakidis, did you give Bobby Dee a handjob?
Vakidis: Yes, right on!

[Jackie is lying in a dumpster] Ed Monix: Jackie, what are you eating?
Jackie: I think it's a pancake...
Monix: Oh come on now Jackie, that's been there a while, hasn't it?
Jackie: Probably....

Dick Pepperfield: Jackie's teammates doing just an awful job of stabilizing his spine as they carry him off the court.


Jackie: There'll be a lotta television cameras out there so we just gotta be tip top.
Clarence Coffee Black: So what's the plan?
Jackie: Brought a secret weapon. It's going to make us look extra cool on Tv.
Bee Bee Ellis: What the hell is that?
Jackie: It's eyeliner dummy. Now who's first? Monix?
Monix: Oh, yeah... Let me get a fresh Maxi-Pad outta my purse.

Dick Pepperfield: Here comes the Alley...and there goes the Oop!

(to Monix) I wish you were still a washing machine!

Clarence Coffee Black: Who the **** is Bambi?

Petrelli: How come it says "Monix" on your jersey when your name's "Pussy"?

Dick Pepperfield: Lou, would you mind putting out that cigarette, it's very unprofessional.
Lou Redwood: No, I like to smoke when I drink.

Lou Redwood: Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son. And he has done more for this city than any human being who's ever lived on this planet!
Dick Pepperfield: With the possible exception of, eh, Henry Ford... Jackie Moon has done a lot for this city, you're right about that.

Alan the Commissioner: No, no, Jackie, don't bite yourself!