Rounders quotes

33 total quotes (ID: 510)

Lester "Worm" Murphy
Mike McDermott
Teddy KGB

Just like a young man coming in for a quickie. I feel so unsatisfied.

Mr. son of a bitch! Let's play some cards!

Joey: What do you need? 500? 1000?
Mike: I need 15,000.
Joey: 15?
Mike: Yeah.
Joey: I need a blow job from Christy Turlington..get the **** outta here! Fifteen thousand dollars?!

Busboy: Call.
Mike: [turns hand over] Triple aces.
Busboy: I..I only got a pair. Jacks?
Manager/Tacky: What did you think he had? Does he look like a man beaten by jacks?
Customer: Jacks are a monster compared to the crap you play, Tacky.
Manager/Tacky: Eh, **** you. **** you!
Customer: **** me? **** you!

Worm: O yea one more thing, I got a feelin'....
Mike: yea, what feeling is that?
Worm: i know you know this know this feeling very well..i mean you got you table all set up, your fork, your knife, your A1 sauce..
[together]: all you need is the steak.
[mike reaches for money]

[first line of the movie] Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in your first half-hour at the table, then YOU are the sucker.

[speaking for Johnny Chan] Did you have it?

I'm sorry, John. I don't remember.

Johnny ****in' Chan.

You were lookin' for that third three, but you forgot that Professor Green folded it on Fourth Street and now you're representing that you have it. The DA made his two pair, but he knows they're no good. Judge Kaplan was trying to squeeze out a diamond flush but he came up short, and Mr. Eisen is futilely hoping that his queens are going to stand up. So like I said, the Dean's bet is $20.

We're not playing together. But then again, we're not playing against each other either. It's like the Nature Channel. You don't see piranhas eating each other, do you?

I like to hide and that's part of the fun for me.

You know what? Stop worrying so much about me. I'm turning things around. I'm not letting anyone drop a garbage can over my head.

Wait, did [Jo] split on you? Oh god..[sees Mike's bed] Oh my god. Mike, she made off with your sheets.

You know what, Gramma? I need your ****in' charity like I need your **** in my ass, okay?