MASH quotes

44 total quotes (ID: 374)

Col. Blake
Hot Lips
Multiple Characters
Trapper John

Frank, were you on this religious kick at home, or did you crack up over here?

How do ya like them apples, Charlie?

I'm a fairy. A victim of latent homosexuality. I've turned into a fairy.

If a man isn't a man anymore... what's he got left that he should be living for?

It's a good thing you have a nice body, nurse, otherwise they'd get rid of you quick.

Let's give him a sexy scar, huh? Fantastic

No. No food. Sex. I want sex. Bring me some sex. [The others call for Storch, but Trapper John points at Hot-Lips] No, no, no, that one. Bring me that one over there. That one. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Take her clothes off! I want that one, yes. Take her clothes off and bring her to me now.

Oh come off it, MAJOR! You put me right off my fresh fried lobster, do you realize that? I'm going to go back to my bed, I'm going to put away the best part of a bottle of scotch... and under normal circumstances, you being normally what I would call a very attractive woman, I would have invited you back to share my little bed with me you might possibly have come. But you really put me off. I mean you're what we call a regular army clown.

Oh, Frank, my lips are hot! Kiss my hot lips!

Oh, now damn it, Henry. Frank Burns is a menace! Every time a patient croaks on him, he says it's God's will or somebody else's fault.

Take care of the squirrels.

This isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum!

Well, you know, Man o' War, after they retired him from racing, they put him out to stud. And he had, on an average, uh about a hundred and twenty, a hundred and thirty foals every year. And he lived to be thirty-six. And then when he died, they did an autopsy, and they found out that he was a raving queen.

Who am I? I am the pro from Dover, and this [Indicates Trapper John] is my favorite caddy.