[reading her own tape measure] As I expected. 'Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way.'

What did I tell ya? There's the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it? But the birds, the stars and the chimney sweeps.

Jane & Michael: [singing] If you don't scold and dominate us, we will never give you cause to hate us, we won't hide your spectacles so you can't see, put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea.

Uncle Albert: A friend of mine went to buy some long underwear. The shopkeeper asked him, 'How long do you want it?' And my friend said, 'Well, from about September to March'.

Mary Poppins: Chim Chiminy, Chim Chiminy, Chim Chim Cher-ee/When you're with a 'sweep, you're in glad company.
Bert: Never was there a more happier crew/Than them what sings Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo! Chim Chim Chiminy Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo...

[George Banks has just been discharged]
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Well, Banks - have you anything to say for yourself?
George Banks: Well, sir, they say that when you have nothing to say, all you can say is...
(He feels something in his pocket, takes it out, and looks at it: Michael's tuppence. He starts to laugh)
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Confound it, Banks! I said do you have anything to say!
George Banks: Only one thing, sir...
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Eh?
George Banks: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Mr. Dawes Jr: In 1773, an official on this bank unwisely loaned a large sum of money to finance a shipment of tea to the American colonies. Do you know what happened?
George Banks: Yes, sir, I think I do. As the ship lay in Boston Harbor, a party the colonists dressed as red Indians boarded the vessel, behaved very rudely, and threw all the tea overboard, making the tea unsuitable for drinking. Even for Americans.
Mr. Dawes Jr: Precisely. The loan was defaulted. Panic ensued within these walls. There was a run on the bank.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: From that time to this, sir, there has not been a run on this bank... UNTIL TODAY. A run, sir, caused by the disgraceful conduct of your son, do you deny it?

Bert: Speaking of names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?

Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I save for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
Uncle Albert: I'd be so grateful.
Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he had a nightmare. So bad, he chewed his pillow to bits. To bits. The next morning, I says, "How do you feel, Granddad?" He says, "Oh not bad, a little down in the mouth."

[Bert and Uncle Albert are laughing at Uncle Albert's tea-party]
Bert: I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
Uncle Albert: And that was nothing like a good joke.

George Banks: [Going to see the bank] We must be on our best behavior.
Michael: But I thought it was your bank.
George Banks: Well I'm one of the younger officers so in a sense it is. Sort of.

Michael: I want it to feed the birds.
Mr. Dawes Sr: Fiddlesticks, Boy. Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds.

In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and [snap] the job's a game.

Close your mouth please, Michael, we are not a codfish.

Why do you always complicate things that are really quite simple?