Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I save for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
Uncle Albert: I'd be so grateful.
Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he had a nightmare. So bad, he chewed his pillow to bits. To bits. The next morning, I says, "How do you feel, Granddad?" He says, "Oh not bad, a little down in the mouth."
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