Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels quotes

69 total quotes (ID: 353)

Barry the Baptist
Multiple Characters
Rory Breaker

(to Dog holding up a gun)Bend over the ****ing desk!

If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it.

Is this some white ****s' joke that black ****s don't get? 'Cause I'm not ****ing laughing Nicholas (comically pronounced Nee-Cole-Us).

When you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop.

Hello boy, feeling a bit poorly? I know your friends are responsible for most of the cash so I'm gonna give you one week to find it. Otherwise I will take a finger of each of you and your friends' hands for everyday that passes without payment. And then when you run out of digits, your dad's bar and who knows what then. All right, my son?

Big Chris: It's been emotional.

Big Chris: All right, son: roll them guns up, count the money, and put your seat belt on.

Winston: Charles, get the rifle out. We're being ****ed.

Barry the Baptist: ****ing northern monkeys!
Gary: I hate these ****ing southern fairies!

Bacon: What's that?
Samoan Joe's Barman: It's a ****tail. You asked for a ****tail.
Bacon: No. I asked you to give me a refreshing drink! I didn't expect a ****ing rainforest! You could fall in love with an orangutan in there! Bring me a pint.
Samoan Joe's Barman: You want a pint, you go to the pub.
Bacon: I thought this was a pub!
Samoan Joes Barman: It's a Samoan pub.

The entire British Empire was built on cups of tea, and if you think I'm going to war without one, mate you're mistaken.

(To Tom about the guns) So, the only thing connecting us to the case, is in the back of your car which is parked outside?!

I ****ing hate traffic wardens

Anyway, **** it. The battle is over and the war is won.

No, **** that. You can think about it. I am panicking and I'm off.