The Hot Chick

The Hot Chick quotes

24 total quotes (ID: 925)

April
Clive/Jessica
Extra
Jessica Spencer
Jessica/Clive
Others


Jessica and April: Boys are cheats and liars, they're such a big disgrace. They will tell you anything to get to second... BASE-ball, baseball, he thinks he's gonna score. If you let him go all the way, then you are a... HOR-ticulturists study flowers, geologists study rocks, the only thing guys want from you is a place to put their...****-roaches, beetles, butterflies & bugs, nothing makes 'em happier than a giant pair of...JUG-glers and acrobats, a dancing bear named Chuck. All guys really want to do is...FORGET IT, NO SUCH LUCK!!!"


(to Jake while calling for April) Too late dude, she's with me right now. She says that my peepee's way bigger than yours. And that's if I fold it in half

Jessica/Clive: April, do you rememeber in second grade when you moved here from Arkansas? And everyone made fun of you and threw rocks at you 'cuz your two front teeth were brown? I was your only friend. I gave you that locket round your neck, when your grandmother was sick. You said, you said...
April: ...we'd be bestest friends forever.

And for me, a screaming orgasm on the beach with extra sugar around the rim, YUM! (the bartender gives him an odd look) Better make that last one a Brewsky... Double Brewsky.

Mambuza Bongo Player: (recurring line) And look, you can put your weed in it!
Lulu: Minimum wage for a maximum loser!
Bathroom Attendant: And if you shake it more than once, you're playing with it.
Keesha's Mom: You're not ashamed of me. You're really ashamed of yourself. Tell Lulu, easy on the chronic.

You're the only boy that can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

(after Jake insults April)You asshole!(Jake and Billy give him a weird look) Whoever left these towels here is an asshole.

Bianca: Hi Jessica, you look great. Are you doing anything different or just hanging out with skankier friends?
Jessica: You look good too Bianca. Are you eating less or just barfing more?
Monique: Barfing more.

April: Uh, Jessica has a...problem.
Keesha: She's only going to make us wait an hour this time?
Lulu: What about the class trip to Six Flags? She took so long in the bathroom we missed the bus.
Keesha: Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up.
Jessica/Clive: I had my period, OK!

Jessica/Clive: (crying into the phone) I should have made love to you when I had the chance.
Billy: Father Mulcahy?

You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. Get a new conditioner, your ends are totally split!

Teacher: Now, I'm returnig your papers on the Salem Witch Trials. I'm sad to report that Eden here got the only "A".
Jessica: That's not fair. She's the only one who was actually there.
Eden: Hexum maleficium spiritum sanctum nostradamus!

(crying)Somebody shit in the locker.

Jessica/Clive: Hildenburg, I'm sorry I humiliated you in front of the whole school and the visiting eight graders, but you have no idea what it's like, to wake up every morning ... and have to shave your chin.
Hildenburg: (crying) Yes, I do.

(walking into the bathroom after turning into Jessica) WHERE'S MY...?