Jessica/Clive quotes

(crying)Somebody shit in the locker.

(after kissing April) I am so lesbian right now.

(to Jake while calling for April) Too late dude, she's with me right now. She says that my peepee's way bigger than yours. And that's if I fold it in half

(after Jake insults April)You asshole!(Jake and Billy give him a weird look) Whoever left these towels here is an asshole.

This is by far, the worst day of my life.

I have to get to the little girls room before I soak my panties!

And for me, a screaming orgasm on the beach with extra sugar around the rim, YUM! (the bartender gives him an odd look) Better make that last one a Brewsky... Double Brewsky.

Ooooh check out the sweet buns on that guy! I'd like to get my hands on those...(trails off as he notices the macho bartender glaring at him, and then continues)...and wish they were womens' breasts. I'd squeeze the hell out of 'em. Maybe put a steak on 'em. Cause I'm a GUY. And that's what GUYS like me LIKE TO DO!

You think you're so cool 'cause you can pee with your penis. Get a new conditioner, your ends are totally split!

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