Heathers quotes

View Quote Veronica's Mom: When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings.

View Quote Principal: Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...

View Quote They're Ich lüge bullets. [In German, "Ich lüge" translates to "I'm lying"]

View Quote Brad: It's so great to be able to talk to a girl and not have to ask "What's your major?". I hate that... . So, when you go to college, what subjects do you think you'll study?

View Quote Great pate, mom, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that funeral.

View Quote I can't believe you did it. I was teasing. I loved you. Course, I was coming up here to kill ya...

View Quote [J.D. shows Heather pictures]
Heather Duke: Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this?
J.D.: I just had the nicest little chat with Ms. Dumptruck. Got along famously. It's kind of scary that everyone's got a little story to tell. You wanna see the canoeing shots?
Heather Duke: What is this? Blackmail? [pause] I'll give you a week's lunch money.
J.D.: I don't want your money. I want your strength. Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness. It needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader but...
Heather Duke: But she couldn't handle it.
J.D.: I think you can. Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table and now it's your turn to take the helm.
Heather Duke: What about the photographs?
J.D.: Oh, don't worry. I'll ask you to do me a favor. That will be one you'll enjoy. Then you'll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime... strength. Here's a little gift. From Heather to Heather. [gives her Heather Chandler's red hair bow]

View Quote Father Ripper: We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it's Jesus Christ, and he's in the Book.

View Quote You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie.

View Quote I knew that loose was too noose... uh... noose too loose...

View Quote Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.

View Quote Kurt's Dad: My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
J.D.: Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.

View Quote Counselor: Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themselves is the biggest decision of their life.

View Quote This isn't just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.

View Quote Geek: [while being bullied by Ram] Ah, oh, uh! I like to suck big dicks. Or, uh... Mmmm! Mmmm! I can't get enough of 'em! Are you satisfied?