Heathers quotes

View Quote Veronica's Mom: When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it's usually because they are being treated like human beings.

View Quote Principal: Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...

View Quote Brad: It's so great to be able to talk to a girl and not have to ask "What's your major?". I hate that... . So, when you go to college, what subjects do you think you'll study?

View Quote I can't believe you did it. I was teasing. I loved you. Course, I was coming up here to kill ya...

View Quote Great pate, mom, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that funeral.

View Quote They're Ich lüge bullets. [In German, "Ich lüge" translates to "I'm lying"]

View Quote You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie.

View Quote Father Ripper: We must pray the other teenagers of Sherwood, Ohio, know the name of that righteous dude who can solve their problems: it's Jesus Christ, and he's in the Book.

View Quote Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.

View Quote [J.D. shows Heather pictures]
Heather Duke: Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this?
J.D.: I just had the nicest little chat with Ms. Dumptruck. Got along famously. It's kind of scary that everyone's got a little story to tell. You wanna see the canoeing shots?
Heather Duke: What is this? Blackmail? [pause] I'll give you a week's lunch money.
J.D.: I don't want your money. I want your strength. Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness. It needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader but...
Heather Duke: But she couldn't handle it.
J.D.: I think you can. Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table and now it's your turn to take the helm.
Heather Duke: What about the photographs?
J.D.: Oh, don't worry. I'll ask you to do me a favor. That will be one you'll enjoy. Then you'll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime... strength. Here's a little gift. From Heather to Heather. [gives her Heather Chandler's red hair bow]

View Quote Kurt's Dad: My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
J.D.: Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.

View Quote I knew that loose was too noose... uh... noose too loose...

View Quote Counselor: Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themselves is the biggest decision of their life.

View Quote Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing.
Veronica: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. ****ing A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.

View Quote Heather McNamara: God, aren't they fed yet? Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa?
Veronica: Oh, sure. Pilgrims, Indians... Tator Tots. It's a real party continent.