Heathers

Heathers quotes

79 total quotes (ID: 272)

Heather Chandler
Heather Duke
J.D.
Multiple Characters
Veronica Sawyer


J.D.: Greetings and salutations... you a Heather?
Veronica: No, I'm a Veronica.... Sawyer.


Dear Diary: Heather says she teaches people real life, she says "real life sucks losers dry. If you wanna **** with the eagles, you have to learn to fly." I said, "So you teach people to spread their wings and fly?" She said, "Yes." I said, "You're beautiful."

Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell.
Veronica: Yeah? I just got back.

Heather McNamara: God, aren't they fed yet? Do they even have Thanksgiving in Africa?
Veronica: Oh, sure. Pilgrims, Indians... Tator Tots. It's a real party continent.

Counselor: Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themselves is the biggest decision of their life.

People will look at the ashes of Westerburg and say, "Now there's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because the school was society." Now that's deep.

Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing.
Veronica: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. ****ing A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.

Great pate, mom, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that funeral.

They're Ich lüge bullets. [In German, "Ich lüge" translates to "I'm lying"]

Geek: [while being bullied by Ram] Ah, oh, uh! I like to suck big dicks. Or, uh... Mmmm! Mmmm! I can't get enough of 'em! Are you satisfied?

Pete: [praying next to Heather Chandler's coffin] Dear Lord, please make sure this never happens to me because I don't think I could handle suicide. Fast, early acceptance into an Ivy League school and please let it be Harvard. Amen.

Kurt's Dad: My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
J.D.: Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.

Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads. Killing Heather would be like offing the wicked witch of the west... wait east. West! God! I sound like a ****ing psycho.

Veronica: You know, I have a little prepared speech I tell my suitor when he wants more than I'd like to give him. Gee, blank, I had a really nice...
Brad: Save the speeches for Malcolm X, I just want to get laid.
Veronica: You don't deserve my ****ing speech.

I knew that loose was too noose... uh... noose too loose...