Heathers

Heathers quotes

79 total quotes (ID: 272)

Heather Chandler
Heather Duke
J.D.
Multiple Characters
Veronica Sawyer


Kurt's Dad: My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
J.D.: Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse.


Dear diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count. Everybody's sad...but it's kind of a weird kind of sad. Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, and Ram a brain. I don't know what it's given me, but I have no control over myself when I'm with J.D. Are we going to prom or to hell?

You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie.

Grow up, Heather, bulimia is so '87.

Veronica: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits.
Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits.

Veronica: You can't use that knife. That knife is filthy.
J.D.: What do you think I'm going to do with it, take out her tonsils?
Veronica: Excuse me, I think I know Heather a little bit better than you do. If she were going to slit her wrists, the knife would be spotless.

I say we just grow up, be adults and die.

[J.D. shows Heather pictures]
Heather Duke: Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this?
J.D.: I just had the nicest little chat with Ms. Dumptruck. Got along famously. It's kind of scary that everyone's got a little story to tell. You wanna see the canoeing shots?
Heather Duke: What is this? Blackmail? [pause] I'll give you a week's lunch money.
J.D.: I don't want your money. I want your strength. Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness. It needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader but...
Heather Duke: But she couldn't handle it.
J.D.: I think you can. Moby Dick is dunked. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table and now it's your turn to take the helm.
Heather Duke: What about the photographs?
J.D.: Oh, don't worry. I'll ask you to do me a favor. That will be one you'll enjoy. Then you'll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime... strength. Here's a little gift. From Heather to Heather. [gives her Heather Chandler's red hair bow]

Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.

[Kneeling at Heather's coffin,"praying"]Hi. I'm sorry. Technically, I did not kill Heather Chandler.. But hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just want my High School to be a nice place... Amen... Did that sound bitchy?

You know what I want, babe? *shoots J.D.* Cool guys like you out of my life.

What is your damage, Heather?

If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.

I knew that loose was too noose... uh... noose too loose...

Heather McNamara: [discussing J.D., who pulled a gun on Kurt and Ram] God, they won't expel him, they'll just suspend him for a week or something.
Heather Chandler: He used a real gun. They should throw his ass in jail.
Veronica: No way. He used blanks. All J. D. really did was ruin two pairs of pants, maybe not even that. Can you bleach out urine stains?