Harold  & Kumar Go to White Castle

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes

72 total quotes (ID: 849)

Freakshow
Harold Lee
Kumar Patel
Mean Tollbooth Guy
Others


Cole: Extreme kayaking!


I was goin down to Georgia, gonna get myself baptized, gon get myself baptized in the bussom of the Lord.

Kumar: Now we're in Newark, of all places. You know we're gonna get shot.
Harold: Maybe it's not as bad as they say. Maybe it's just a bunch of hype.
Kumar: Check it out. Those guys look like a lame version of us.
[two guys get jumped and beaten with a 2x4 and other weapons]
Harold, Kumar: Holy shit!
[assailants stop beating up the two guys, look up and pause, then continue with the assaults while the two men lay on the ground moaning]
Harold: Let's get the **** outta here. Go! Go! Drive! Drive!
Kumar: Yeah, that was your fault.
Harold: **** you.
Kumar: **** you.

Freakshow: What the hell are you doing with my wife?
Harold: Y-you said outside that we could have sex with her!
Kumar: Shit! Shit!
Freakshow: I most certainly did not!
Harold: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Did not!
Kumar: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Oh, no, I didn't.
Kumar: You did, you did.
Freakshow: You sure?
Harold: You said it!
Freakshow: [laughing] My mistake! Well, since we're all here, how 'bout a four-some?

Harold: ...The universe tends to unfold as it should.
Kumar: What is that? Some fortune cookie?

I'll tell these girls how you both got gonorrhea from that prostitute in Atlantic City.

Hey, move your ass!

Kumar: [walks up to a bush and starts peeing] Ahh.
[Creepy Guy walks up out of nowhere and starts peeing right next to him]
Kumar: 'Scuse me, I just--
Creepy Guy: Huh?!
Kumar: I have to ask you, why'd you--wha--wha--why are you peeing right here?
Creepy Guy: What?
Kumar: I mean... why'd you pee right next to me when you could like, choose that bush, or--?
Creepy Guy: Well, this bush looked like I should pee on it. Why are you peeing on it?
Kumar: Well, no one was here when I chose this bush.
Creepy Guy: Oh, so you get to pee on it and no one else does? Huh?
Kumar: No, it's just--I just--
Creepy Guy: This your bush? You have a special bond with this bush?
Kumar: No, I just thought that--
Creepy Guy: You the king of the forest?
Kumar: I'm sorry?
Creepy Guy: What? You ****in' tree-hugger. Is this your special bush?!
Kumar: Never mind. Forget it, I really don't feel like gettin' stabbed tonight.
[they pee in silence for a bit]
Creepy Guy: [quietly] Nice pubes.
Kumar: [pauses, creeped out] Thanks.

Harold: [riding a cheetah] Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working?
Kumar: Both.

Officer Palumbo: What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's?
Kumar: No, it's actually one "u".
Officer Palumbo: Yeah, bullshit.

So she's kinda ****ing cute. Let her touch your penis.

Hey, asshole, why don't you leave that guy alone and go jerk off to some snowboarding videos or something?

Shotgun anus!

[cops left moments earlier to check out a shooting in Millbrook Park]
Kumar: [from inside a heating duct at the police station, where Harold is in jail] Rold? Is that you?
Harold: Kumar?
Kumar: Hey, are the cops still here?
Harold: What the hell are you doing?
Kumar: I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.
Harold: Jesus Christ, what'd you do that for?!
Kumar: I'm ****ing starving! I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers.

Dude, am I going deaf or did he just say we could **** his wife?