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Hard Candy

Hard Candy quotes

30 total quotes

Hayley Stark
Jeff Kohlver




View Quote Well, 4 out of 5 doctors agree that I am actually insane.
View Quote Remember what I said about not drinking anything you didn't see made yourself? Good advice for everyone.
View Quote This really is one of the simplest operations you could imagine. Makes me wonder why they teach Girl Scouts things like camping and selling cookies when they could teach them something really useful like this. [pause] Then again, I wouldn't know how they would design a merit badge for this type of activity.
View Quote [holding two glasses filled with a murky, bloody fluid] You want souvenirs? No? What should I do with them? We could see how far they bounce. Then again, some animal might decide they were his afternoon snack. Wouldn't want a little squirrel or coyote to get sick. Especially with you being such a conservationist. Maybe this would be best. Grind them up in the garbage disposal.
View Quote Jeff Kohlver: This is some...teenage joke?
Hayley Stark: Teenage, yes. Joke, no.
View Quote Jeff Kohlver: Those letters are mine.
Hayley Stark: Nothing's yours when you invite a teenager into your home.
View Quote Jeff Kohlver: Ah, so you and your mom are both wacked?
Hayley Stark: I dunno. That's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was I born a cute, vindictive, little bitch or... did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that...
View Quote Jeff Kohlver: [while tied down to a chair] Look, look. I've been lonely, okay? And that makes me stupid, but I am not a pedophile. Look, this is some horrible mistake. Just untie me now and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened. Just untie me now!
Hayley Stark: Okay, well you know what? I am not lonely and therefore not stupid. I untie you, you might understandably be a little peeved. So when I am ready to go, I'll call a cab and call another one to let you loose.
Jeff Kohlver: And when will that be?
Hayley Stark: I'm not sure yet.
View Quote Hayley Stark: You are good and numb, aren't you?
Jeff Kohlver: **** off.
Hayley Stark: Your conversational skills are really deteriorating as the day goes on.
View Quote I'm reading this book about Jean Seberg. [looks at Jeff, who shakes his head] She's this actress who slept with all the wrong people and ended up killing herself.
View Quote Play time is over, Jeff. Now it’s time to wake up.
View Quote I shouldn't have teased you like that. I shouldn't have let you think there was a way out of this.
View Quote [about Jeff's testicles] I guess they, uh, weren't brass.
View Quote You use the same phrases about Goldfrapp that they use on Amazon.com. Busted!
View Quote I ****ing hate Goldfrapp.