Jeff Kohlver quotes

Well you look older than you are and you certainly act older than you are.

Does your mom know you cut off men’s balls?

You’re all just like Janelle, you’re driving me crazy! I can’t stand the head games! You’re right this is me. This is who I am. Thank you for helping me finally see it.

Hayley Stark: [eating chocolate] Mmm. This is soo good. I want more.
Jeff Kohlver: Don't get greedy.

Hayley Stark: You really just don't look like kind of guy who needs to meet girls over the internet.
Jeff Kohlver: Well, I think it's better to meet people online first, sometimes. You get to know what they're like inside. When you work as a photographer you find out real quick peoples faces lie.
Hayley Stark: Does my face lie?

Jeff Kohlver: This is some...teenage joke?
Hayley Stark: Teenage, yes. Joke, no.

Jeff Kohlver: Those letters are mine.
Hayley Stark: Nothing's yours when you invite a teenager into your home.

Jeff Kohlver: Ah, so you and your mom are both wacked?
Hayley Stark: I dunno. That's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was I born a cute, vindictive, little bitch or... did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that...

Jeff Kohlver: You were coming on to me!
Hayley Stark: Oh, come on. That's what they always say, Jeff.
Jeff Kohlver: Who?
Hayley Stark: Who? The pedophiles! 'Oh, she was so sexy. She was asking for it.' 'She was only technically a girl, she acted like a woman.' It's just so easy to blame a kid, isn't it! Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman, does NOT mean she's ready to do what a woman does. [pause] I mean, you're the grown up here. If a kid is experimenting and says something flirtatious, you ignore it, you don't encourage it. If a kid says 'Heeey, let's make screwdrivers' you take the alcohol away and you don't race them to the next drink!

Jeff Kohlver: [while tied down to a chair] Look, look. I've been lonely, okay? And that makes me stupid, but I am not a pedophile. Look, this is some horrible mistake. Just untie me now and we'll forget this whole thing ever happened. Just untie me now!
Hayley Stark: Okay, well you know what? I am not lonely and therefore not stupid. I untie you, you might understandably be a little peeved. So when I am ready to go, I'll call a cab and call another one to let you loose.
Jeff Kohlver: And when will that be?
Hayley Stark: I'm not sure yet.

Jeff Kohlver: It'll ruin my career... it'll ruin my life!
Hayley Stark: Well, didn't Roman Polanski just win an Oscar?

Jeff Kohlver: You're getting yourself in terrible trouble.
Hayley Stark: Oh? Oh and how's that?
Jeff Kohlver: If you cut me in any way you won't forget it. It changes you when you hurt somebody.
Hayley Stark: Oh and you speak from experience I guess.
Jeff Kohlver: I've just lived. Unlike you. The things you do wrong... they haunt you.
Hayley Stark: Tell me what you're haunted by.
Jeff Kohlver: Do you wanna remember this day when you're with a guy? On a date? Or on your wedding night? 'Cause I promise you you will. Don't do that to yourself.
Hayley Stark: Wow... You know, that is so thoughtful! You are speaking to me so selflessly! I mean, you just don't want me to castrate you for my own benefit? Wow, I'm touched. Jeff, why don't we imagine someone saying the same thing to you at a random moment? Imagine that when you downloaded this little girl... I was sitting by your side saying, "Stop! Don't do that to yourself!" Would you have listened?

Hayley Stark: You are good and numb, aren't you?
Jeff Kohlver: **** off.
Hayley Stark: Your conversational skills are really deteriorating as the day goes on.

Hayley Stark: Turns out castration is one of the easiest surgical procedures around. There's thousands of farmboys across the country gelding their livestock. If they can do it, I think I can pull it off. If you know what I mean.
Jeff Kohlver: I'm not ****ing livestock.
Hayley Stark: You keep telling yourself that, stud.

Jeff Kohlver: Why don’t you just kill me?
Hayley Stark: Is that what you think I want?
Jeff Kohlver: Isn't it?

Hayley Stark: We gotta get this show on the road.
Jeff Kohlver: A teen doesn’t do this.
Hayley Stark: I’ve seen your idea of what teens should do.

Hayley Stark: Well if Denise was here right now, what would you say?
Jeff Kohlver: I'd say, "Help... a teenager cut my balls off. Call the police."

Jeff Kohlver: Which do you wanna **** first, me or the knife? [as Hayley raises gun] Oh you know how to use that huh?
Hayley Stark: [****s the gun] Honor student, remember? Nothing I can't do when I put my mind to it.
Jeff Kohlver: What? You're gonna shoot me? Shoot me, SHOOT ME, you're not gonna shoot me!

Jeff Kohlver: Who the hell are you?
Hayley Stark: I am every little girl you ever watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed.

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