Good Burger quotes
58 total quotesDexter
Ed
Kurt
Mr. Wheat
Other
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Dexter: You know...I don't even remember what my dad looks like.
Ed: I don't remember what my dad looks like, either, but at least I get to see him everyday.
Ed: I don't remember what my dad looks like, either, but at least I get to see him everyday.
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Kurt: I want you to come work for me at Mondo Burger. You come and make your sauce for Kurt.
Ed: Who's Kurt?
Kurt: I'm Kurt!
Ed: I'm Ed.
Kurt: I'm aware!
Ed: You said you were Kurt.
Ed: Who's Kurt?
Kurt: I'm Kurt!
Ed: I'm Ed.
Kurt: I'm aware!
Ed: You said you were Kurt.
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Ed: (about Kurt) I think he likes me.
Dexter: Ed! That diphthong doesn't like you, he just wants to use you!
Ed: Well, that's not 'natural.'
Dexter: Ed! That diphthong doesn't like you, he just wants to use you!
Ed: Well, that's not 'natural.'
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Roxanne: Ed, can't we go somewhere and be alone?
Ed: What for?
Roxanne: Well we can just talk or get to know each other a little better. Now, doesn't that sound like more fun than miniature golf?
Ed: (looks at the audience for a few seconds)
Ed: (looking back at Roxanne) No! Come on!
Ed: What for?
Roxanne: Well we can just talk or get to know each other a little better. Now, doesn't that sound like more fun than miniature golf?
Ed: (looks at the audience for a few seconds)
Ed: (looking back at Roxanne) No! Come on!
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Dexter: (about Monique) How can I not like her? She smart, fun, beautiful and cuddly.
Ed: Then just ask her out.
Dexter: Naw.
Ed: What, you're chicken?
Dexter: I'm not a chicken!
Ed: Are too! Dexter's a chicken! Moo! Moo!
Dexter: CHICKENS! (quieter) Chickens don't moo Ed. They cluck. (Imitates chicken sound)
Ed (later in the scene): Moo.
Ed: Then just ask her out.
Dexter: Naw.
Ed: What, you're chicken?
Dexter: I'm not a chicken!
Ed: Are too! Dexter's a chicken! Moo! Moo!
Dexter: CHICKENS! (quieter) Chickens don't moo Ed. They cluck. (Imitates chicken sound)
Ed (later in the scene): Moo.
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Dexter: So, uh, you like me?
Monique: Of course. So, uh, you like me?
Dexter: Are you kiddin'? I liked you from the first time I saw you! Right off the bat. But I guess it was the same thing for you, huh?
Monique: No, actually I thought you were self-centered and obnoxious.
Dexter: Well, so much for my self-esteem.
Monique: Of course. So, uh, you like me?
Dexter: Are you kiddin'? I liked you from the first time I saw you! Right off the bat. But I guess it was the same thing for you, huh?
Monique: No, actually I thought you were self-centered and obnoxious.
Dexter: Well, so much for my self-esteem.
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Dexter: Who are you and what have you done with the real Monique?
Monique: Oh, she's right here! It's just that now she knows the real Dexter.
Dexter: Come again?
Monique: You forgot your jacket last night. (hands him his jacket)
Dexter: Thank you.
Monique: And this fell out of the pocket (holds contract)
Dexter: Oh, um, this is just...all it is, all it is...
Monique: Right, It's just the contract you had Ed sign. You know the one where you take most of his money? The money he's supposed to get for his sauce
Dexter: Yeah, but...
Monique: I can't believe you would do something like that to someone who trusts you! How can you take advantage of a sweet person like Ed? And after he got you a job!
Dexter: It ain't even like that! All I wanted—
Monique: Oh, I know what you wanted! You're not his friend you're just using him to scam a little cash off the side. It must feel really good. Oh, but don't worry I'm not gonna tell Ed you're cheating him.
Dexter: Why not?
Monique: 'Cuz it would hurt him too much.
Monique: Oh, she's right here! It's just that now she knows the real Dexter.
Dexter: Come again?
Monique: You forgot your jacket last night. (hands him his jacket)
Dexter: Thank you.
Monique: And this fell out of the pocket (holds contract)
Dexter: Oh, um, this is just...all it is, all it is...
Monique: Right, It's just the contract you had Ed sign. You know the one where you take most of his money? The money he's supposed to get for his sauce
Dexter: Yeah, but...
Monique: I can't believe you would do something like that to someone who trusts you! How can you take advantage of a sweet person like Ed? And after he got you a job!
Dexter: It ain't even like that! All I wanted—
Monique: Oh, I know what you wanted! You're not his friend you're just using him to scam a little cash off the side. It must feel really good. Oh, but don't worry I'm not gonna tell Ed you're cheating him.
Dexter: Why not?
Monique: 'Cuz it would hurt him too much.
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Dexter: So you poured that stuff in the meat didn't you?
Ed: I had to.
Dexter: You had to?
Ed: Sure. See, I knew that if I took the can, there was a good chance I'd get caught. Then I thought that even if I did take the triambythal to the proper authorities, Kurt would hire some high-powered attorney who dispute any charges brought against him or Mondo Burger, by manipulating the legal system. And the way that America's court system is congested these days, It would have taken months to convict him of anything. So then I thought, I just take the matter into my own hands and pour the triambythal into the meat supply and let Mondo Burger be a victim of its own foul play.
Dexter: Wait-wait-wait...You thought of all that?
Ed: Sure, I'm not stupid.
Ed: I had to.
Dexter: You had to?
Ed: Sure. See, I knew that if I took the can, there was a good chance I'd get caught. Then I thought that even if I did take the triambythal to the proper authorities, Kurt would hire some high-powered attorney who dispute any charges brought against him or Mondo Burger, by manipulating the legal system. And the way that America's court system is congested these days, It would have taken months to convict him of anything. So then I thought, I just take the matter into my own hands and pour the triambythal into the meat supply and let Mondo Burger be a victim of its own foul play.
Dexter: Wait-wait-wait...You thought of all that?
Ed: Sure, I'm not stupid.
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Ed: Um, Dexter? I just want to say that, well, I'm really gonna miss you...a lot. And um, I will always remember you, Dexter Reed. In my thoughts and in my heart. Goodbye, my friend. (hugs Dexter)
Dexter: Um, Ed? I'm not going anywhere man. (Ed let's him go)
Ed: Oh.
Dexter: Um, Ed? I'm not going anywhere man. (Ed let's him go)
Ed: Oh.