April: [to Klitz] I know this isn't professional, but I think you're really cute.

Danielle: [repeated line] What's the craziest thing you've done lately?

Danielle: Hi, I'm all wet. Can I come in?

Danielle: Just go with it.

Eli: Fine! Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! FUCK HER FOR ME! FOR ME!

Eli: God, I just wanna bang hot chicks!

Eli: I just gotta fuck something.

Eli: Minions!

Hugo Posh's Parrot: <whistles> Cradle the balls!

Matthew: [after Kelly gives him ectasy] Oh my God, am I gonna die?!?

Matthew: [while giving Danielle a crumpled paper] I just want you to know that I know who you really are, and you're better than this. [Danielle uncrumples the paper and it is the drawing she made of the girl with lipstick at the table with Matthew.]

Matthew: Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... The three legs of the tripod. My business partner. My student advisor. The next Einstein. Eli's calling card. Klitz's big debut. My own scholarship to Georgetown. And of course, I'll never forget the girl next door. As for me, I'm just going with it.

Matthew: Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically [mumbling] being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your future, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about.

Danielle: Thank you.
Matthew: For what?
Danielle: I never went to prom.

Eli: Dude!
Matthew: I know.
Klitz: Dude!
Matthew: I know.