Garden State quotes

View Quote What do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry, but in between, I laugh. And I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.

View Quote This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before, and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.

View Quote What's the word that's burning in your heart?

View Quote If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you'd like.

View Quote Wow! I cannot believe you're not really ****ed!

View Quote My mom always says that, when she can see I'm, like, working something out in my head. She's like, "You're in it right now" and I'm looking at you telling this story, and you're definitely in it.

View Quote I have three Dobermans, and if I didn't kick them in the balls on a regular basis, I'd never get anything done.

View Quote My hair's blowin' in the wind.

View Quote Sidecars are for bitches.

View Quote The only thing worse than a favor is a favor involving money.

View Quote Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole.

View Quote I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better.

View Quote Come on, please. If I was going to get you coke we would've gone to the ****ing high school football practice. We would've been rolling five hours ago.

View Quote Hey, if you ever need a Kato, you know where to find me.

View Quote Mark's Mom: Oh, guys, don't stay in here all day. I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping all night.
Dr. Cohen: You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety. I found my ex-best friend's cufflinks in my wife's purse. I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half...for example.
Tim: By the way, it says "Balls" on your face.
Andrew: [to Mark] Asshole.
Mark: My mom did it.
Jesse: Dude, maybe you should stay over by the steps. I don't know CPR.
Mark: You look like a wet beaver.
Diego: Who just saw some titties?
[Mark, Largeman and Sam raise their hands tentatively]
Diego: Ok. Now everybody calm the **** down!