Freddy Got Fingered quotes

View Quote [Gord is building his skateboard ramp early in the morning]
Darren: Shh! Gord! Gord! Don't hammer 'em so loud. Geez, it's late, you're gonna wake up your parents.
Gord: You're right. I should probably use the electric nail gun.
Darren: Yeah.
[Gord starts using it and it creates even more noise]
Darren: Shh! Gord!
Gord: What?
Jim: Oh, boys. Will you two ****s stop making so ****ing much noise? We're sleeping.
[Gord starts nailing in more hammers to annoy Jim]
Darren: Shhh!
Jim: Goddamnit! IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING! Stop the ****ing hammering!
Mr. Malloy: Gordy! I got a kid over here, okay! Gord, are you guys almost done over there?
Gord: Yeah, nearly, Mr. Malloy.
Andy: Hey, Gord. Can I play on your ramp tomorrow?
Gord: Sure, Andy. Any time.
[Jim screams out of rage then goes back into the house]
Darren: Does your dad got, like, bowel problems?

View Quote [narrating his cartoon, "Zebras In America"]

View Quote Jim: Wait a minute, you're crippled.
Gord: Dad..
Betty: Wha--what?
Gord: Dad..
Betty: You got a problem with my legs?
Jim: No, you've got a problem with your legs. Either that or you're just lazy.

View Quote Jim: [after seeing Darren's leg during the skateboarding accident] O-oh god! Get him a job! I mean get him an ambulance! You get a job, he's got a job already!

View Quote Betty: Your dad called me a ****-slut-whore. I don't think he likes me very much, Gordy.

View Quote Look, Daddy, I'm a farmer!

View Quote He's a molester... He's a CHIIIILD molester!!!

View Quote Japan four!

View Quote I see the problem here! There's a baby in your BOOOODDDYYY!

View Quote What in the name of sweet breakfast meats are you doing?

View Quote Jim Brody: Where are you going?
Gord: Bye bye daddy! Bye bye daddy! I'm going to get a jobeee!!!
Jim Brody: You must think I'm a damn idiot!
Gord: Ummm... yes?

View Quote Get inside the animals!

View Quote Policewoman: GET OFF THE ****ING BAR, ASSHOLE!

View Quote Ding-dong! Ding-dong!

View Quote THIS IS FANCY RESTAURANT! THIS IS A FANCY RESTAURANT!!